


Old Friends (Deleted Version)

by RandomPerson2_0



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:55:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 34,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomPerson2_0/pseuds/RandomPerson2_0
Summary: Because of Clarke being an only child she would seek out company. Her parents weren’t much of company. So when Clarke meets Lexa Woods her world from then on is changed for the better. They have their high and lows but Lexa has always been Clarke’s favorite part of the day. However, when Lexa confesses to Clarke, and Clarke rejects her, both their friendship and world will fall apart.Flash forward five years, Clarke is in college with Raven and Octavia. When it comes time for Clarke to meet her new roommate, she finds out her childhood friend, Lexa, is her new roommate. This should go well.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-upload from my old account. So yes, there are two versions of the same things. Yes, I wrote this quite a while back. And yes, the old version on my other account will be deleted in given time.

“Clarke”, Lexa turns to me.  
“Yeah?”  
“Can… can we take a walk?”  
“Sure”, taking her hand, I lead Lexa out of the house. We walk down the sidewalk. “What is it?”  
“Hmm”, Lexa glances at me.  
“You have that look.”  
Lexa sighs and looks up. “I’ve known you for 9 years now.”  
I nod.  
“And… those have been the happiest 9 years of my life”, she briefly smiles. “And I don’t want it to ever end.”  
“Neither do I”.  
“But I’m 16 and graduating in 2 years.”  
I nod again.  
“Anyways… I wanted to get this off my chest”. She stops walking and faces me. With a deep breath she blurts out “I like you Clarke Griffin.”  
I smile. “I know that Lex, I like you too.”  
She laughs, shaking her head. “So innocent but not in the way you think. I love, love you.”  
I don’t say anything.  
Love?  
“When I’m with you my heart flutters, I get all happy and feel like everything is ok. I feel like there’s no obstacles in my way… and I know it’s early but I wanna spend the rest of my life with you”, taking a moment to pause and looks into my eyes. “I wanna be by your side.”  
“Lexa…”  
“I know, I know it sounds crazy.”  
“No it’s not that.”  
Lexa looks at me. I see fear but also hope in her eyes.  
“It’s just…”, I glance down. “I don’t like you like that.”  
Lexa doesn’t say anything.  
“I wanna be your friend but that’s all. I don’t like women”. I have to look away. “I’m sorry.”  
Tears start rolling down her face.  
“Please don’t cry.”  
Without saying anything Lexa turns and starts walking away.  
“Lexa. Lexa come back.” I run up to her. When I reach for her arm she turns around.  
Grabbing my arm she pulls me close, her lips smashing into mine. Before I can react Lexa breaks the kiss. With a sad smile she puts her hand on my cheek.  
“Goodbye, Clarke Griffin”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Luna doesn't have blue hair and all that. I know some of these birthdays aren't there actually birthdays. I switched things up so it matched the story. Before the story begins I want to put information in. This will tell you about the characters.

Clarke Griffin:

Clarke Rose Griffin is a blonde with blue eyes. She's the only child of the Griffin family. She was born September 10th, 2033. Due to being an only child she is outgoing and curious. She's also very talkative. She likes to meet new people.

Raven Reyes:

Raven Lou Reyes is a black haired woman with brown eyes. She has an older brother named Markus. She was born on July 8th, 2033. She's one of Clarke's closest friends. She's known the blonde since they were two years old. Raven feels a need to protect Clarke no matter what.

Octavia Blake:

Octavia Blake is a woman with light brown hair and brown eyes. She has an older brother, Bellamy. She was born on February 15th, 2032. She's a close friend of Raven and Clarke. Even though she was born a year before them, she is in the same grade.

Bellamy Blake:

Not much to say about this kid. He has brown curly hair and brown eyes. He protects Octavia like his life depends on it. He was born on April 21st, 2028

Luna Jones:

Luna is Lexa's closest friend. She's very attached to Lexa. She has royal blue hair and hazel eyes. She was born on May 1st, 2030. Luna already graduated college but went back so she could be with Lexa. Now she's getting another degree.

Lexa Woods:

Lexa Woods comes from a rich family. Even though she has money she doesn't let that effect her personality. She is Clarke's college grade. She didn't go to college until she was 21. People don't know why she waited this long. Some say it was to see someone, others say it was for fun. Lexa has dark brown hair and green eyes. She was born on June 7th, 2030.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is excited to meet the neighbors that are moving in. Little did she know that the person she meets will change her life forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put the January 5th thing to show what date. In the next chapter there will be one more of those then the story will take place in that year. If it changes years I might put the year before the change.

******** = pov (point of view) change

 _This_ = someone's thoughts

January 5th (2038):

“Mommy! Mommy!” I run over to her.

“Yes Clarke?” Mom looks at me.

“The neighbors.” I reach up to her. She picks me up and sets me on the counter.

“What about them?”

“There’s a van. New neighbors.”

“We’ll have to say hi.”

“Can we?”

“We will", she smiles. The oven timer goes off. “Cookies are done.”

She pulls out a pan of hot chocolate chip cookies. When I reach for one Mom swats my hand away.

“Those are hot and are not for you.”

I look up at her.

“Now go get dressed, we’re gonna see the neighbors in 20 minutes.”

Leaping off the counter I run to my bedroom.

“Clarke! Clarke, sweetie we’re going.”

“Coming!” I run downstairs. “How do I look?”

“Perfect.”

I run over to her. “Can I hold the cookies?”

“Don’t drop them", she hands me the cookies. “And don’t sneakily eat one.”

“Never", I smile up at her.

I walk by Mom as we walk across the road.

“Hello.” Mom walks up to a woman.

The woman looks up from her flowers and to Mom. “Hi", she stands up and brushes off her knees. “Hi there", the woman smiles down at me.

“Hello", I hold out the cookies. "My mommy made these for you.”

“Aww, that’s sweet". Her smile widens. “Alexandria! Will you come help me out?”

There’s a creak as the front door opens. A girl with her hair in a ponytail walks out of the house. She has brown hair and stunning green eye.

“Come get these cookies.” the woman says to her daughter.

Alexandria nods and walks over to me. “I’ll take those.”

With a nod I hand her the cookies.

“How rude of me", the woman "tsk" at herself. “I’m Jessica Woods and this is my daughter Alexandria Woods.”

“Hi Jessica, I’m Abby Griffin and this is my daughter Clarke Griffin", momma smiles at her.

“Clarke, what a gorgeous name.”

“Thank you.”

“How old are you?”

“Five", I hold out five fingers to show her.

“My daughter is 7, she’ll be 8 in a few months. You two could be great friends."

"That would be amazing", mom pats my back. "Why don’t you go off and play?”

“Alexandria, would you show Clarke around?” Jessica asks.

Alexandria nods. “C’mon.” she walks towards the front door.

I follow her into the house.

“Let me set these on the counter.”

Nodding I wait in the living room. A few seconds pass before Alexandria comes back in the living room.

“So, Alexandria, does everyone call you that?” I ask.

“Just my parents. Everyone else calls me Lexa.”

“Can I call you that?”

"If it pleases you.”

“What grade are you in?”

“1st, I’ll be in 2nd in August. You?”

“I start school in August, I’ll be going to Kinder.”

“I figured you were already in Kinder.”

“Nope, I was too young to start school this year.”

She gives me some look. “Lucky. Anyways I’ll show you around".

She talks as we walk around the house. “And this is the backyard.”

There’s a bark as a white dog runs up to us. The dog has a pink nose and blue eyes. It’s hair is curly.

“This is Dallas, she’s gonna be 2 in 3 days.”

“Is she yours?”

“No, she’s my dad’s", she spares me a glance.

“Where is your dad?”

“Across the ocean.”

“What’s he do?”

“I honestly don’t know. It involves a lot of traveling though.”

“Clarke! We have to go!”

“Coming!”, I turn to Lexa. “I have to go, hopefully we can hang out more.”

Lexa only nods.

I turn and run out of the house.

“Did you have fun?” Mom asks.

“Yeah, Lexa is really nice", I take her hand. “They have a cute dog.”

“That’s nice.” Mom says. “Well see ya.” she waves to Jessica.

Jessica smiles and waves back.

_After that Lexa and I hung out everyday. Even during school, when we had time we would talk and hang out. Didn’t matter that she was two grades ahead of me. I loved hanging out with her. She was everything I needed in a friend. Then when I turned 14 everything went south…_

September 10th (2047)

“Happy birthday", Lexa lightly nudges me.

“Thank you", I smile at her. "You coming to the party?”

“Of course.”

“See you then.”

“I was actually hoping we could hang out.”

“I can’t, maybe during the party.”

“I understand… see you then.”

*************

I wait for Lexa to arrive.

She lives across the street, why is she taking so long? There’s a knock on the door. I open it hoping to see my friend. Instead of Lexa, Raven and Octavia stand in front of me.

“Happy birthday!” Raven hugs me.

“Thanks.”

“What are you gonna do now that you’re 14?”

“Nothing’s changed.”

Someone clears their throat. Raven steps out of the way to reveal Lexa.

“You made it.” I say.

“I told you I would come", She gives me a hug.

“No present?” Octavia asks.

“Sorry.” Lexa says.

“It’s fine. I didn’t invite people so I could get presents.” I say.

*************

After cake and ice cream I sit in the backyard with Lexa.

“Clarke.” Lexa says.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“Can… can we take a walk?” she asks.

“Sure.” I lead Lexa out of the house. We walk down the sidewalk

“What is it?” I ask.

“Hmm.” Lexa glances at me.

“You have that look.” I say.

Lexa sighs and looks up. “I’ve known you for 9 years now.” she says.

I nod.

“And… those have been the happiest 9 years of my life.” she says. “And I don’t want it to ever end.” she says. “But I’m 16 and graduating in 2 years.” she says.

I nod again. “Anyways… I wanted to get this off my chest.” she says. She stops walking and faces me. “I like you Clarke Griffin.” she says.

“I like you too.” I say.

“Not like that.” she says.

“I love, love you.” she says.

I don’t say anything.

“When I’m with you my heart flutters, I get all happy and feel like everything is ok.” she says. “I feel like there’s no obstacles in my way.” she says. “And… I know it’s early but I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” she says. “I wanna be by your side.” she says.

“Lexa…” I look at the woman in front of me.

“I know, I know it sounds crazy.” she says.

"No it’s not that.” I say.

Lexa looks at me. I see fear but also hope in her eyes.

“It’s just…” I glance down. “I don’t like you like that.” I say.

Lexa doesn’t say anything.

“I wanna be your friend but that’s all.” I say. “I don’t like women.” I say. “I’m sorry.” I look at Lexa.

Tears start rolling down her face.

“Please don’t cry.” I say.

Without saying anything Lexa turns and starts walking away.

“Lexa.” I say. “Lexa come back.” I run up to her. When I reach for her arm she turns around. Her lips are suddenly on mine. My eyes widen. Lexa leans back. Her hand lies on my cheek. Taking her hand off she says, “goodbye, Clarke Griffin”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known I'm just separating the speeches.


	4. Chapter 4

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

August 18th (2051):

The sound of my alarm going off has me groaning and nuzzling into my pillow. When it doesn't stop I reach in the direction of my nightstand. My hand scrambles across the surface as I search for my alarm clock. When I finally manage to turn it off, a tiny bark catches my attention.

"Snow." I lift my head.

Snow looks up at me. Sitting up I pick the white pomeranian up. "Morning." I say.

She gives my face a few licks before running across my bed.

"What time is it?" I whisper to myself. My alarm clock shows "5:15" in the morning. I take my phone out from under my pillow and look at my calendar.

"Arrive at airport at 6 in the morning." I read.

_Why am I going to the airport? What's today?_

Someone knocks on my door.

"Clarke, you awake?" Mom asks.

"Y-yeah." I respond.

"Well get dressed and come downstairs. I wanna have breakfast with you before you leave for college." she says.

_College?_

I look at the date.

_Shit! College!_

Leaping out of bed I run to the bathroom. I take a quick shower then search my closet. Most of my clothes are gone and in a suitcase. I pick a yellow t-shirt and overalls to wear. With my clothes on, I do my hair. I put my hair up in a bun before slipping on some sandals.

"You're wearing that?" Mom asks.

"Yeah... is it ok?" I ask.

"No it's fine, it's just... did you check the weather?" she asks.

"The college is in a hot year round place." I say.

"Still, what if it snows or something?" she asks.

"I'll be on a plane for 2 hours." I say.

Mom sighs and shakes her head. "Come and eat." she says.

"Where's Raven?" I ask.

"Her and Octavia will be here in 15 minutes." she says.

"Did they call?" I ask.

"Stop worrying." Mom says. She sits at the table. "Let me enjoy my last breakfast with you." she says.

"You make it sound like you're dying." I sit down.

"I feel like it." she says.

"Mom, I'll be gone for 4 years." I say.

"Too long." she says.

"I'll visit during breaks." I say.

"Promise?" she asks.

"Of course." I say. We spend the next 15 minutes talking and laughing about things. "Blondie!" the front door opens revealing Raven.

"Stop calling me that." I look at my Latino friend. Octavia stands by her.

"How can we not?" she asks.

"It's easy." I say.

"Anyways, are you ready to go?" Raven asks.

"Yeah. Let me grab my bags." I say.

(20 minutes later)

"Home sick already?" Raven asks. She glances at me.

Eyes on the road." I tease.

Raven smiles.

I look at Octavia. "Your brother ok?" I ask.

"Yeah... he cried more than my parents but yeah, he's ok." she says.

"He's over attached." Raven says.

"You're telling me." Octavia says. "He was happy when I was accepted into college but he was also mad because I would have to leave." she says.

Smiling I look away. "What about your brother?" I ask.

"Too busy smoking weed to care." she says.

_I forgot that Raven and her brother don't have the healthiest relationship. Ever since they're parents split, he went the wrong way. Raven wasn't affected but he was. I guess it's hard when you lose the person you look up to the most._

"Have a nice flight." the woman smiles and nods at me.

"Thanks." I board the airplane.

_I can't believe I'm on an airplane._

Sitting down I look out the window. "This is crazy." I whisper.

"I know what you mean." the person next to me says. I look at her.

"First time?" she asks.

"Yeah." I say.

"Let me guess... college?" she asks.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" I ask.

"More than half of the people here are off to college." she says.

"Where are you off to?" I ask.

"I'm becoming a teacher at a college." she says.

"Oh, well good luck." I say.

"I think I'll need it." she says.

Looking back out the window I smile.

_Maybe this won't be so bad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's short. I just had to get Clarke leaving out of the way. I don't know why I added that woman. I'm thinking she'll become apart of the story. I don't know.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and her friends have made it. Now what do they do?

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

"This is... the college?" I ask.

"Yep, this is where we'll be spending the next 4 years." Raven says.

I look at the front gate of the college. On the gate it has a "TU" on it.

"Trikru Univerisity." Octavia says.

"Aren't their rivals Skaikru University?" Raven asks.

"Yep." Octavia nods. Students flood into the gates to start their college life.

"Welcome." a woman at the gates greets us. "Here." she hands us some papers.

"Thanks." I walk off with Raven and Octavia. We all stand to the side.

"It's a map of the university." Raven says. Looking at it I read the places.

"What do we do first?" Octavia says.

"Well, first we have to find our dorm room." I say.

"Dorms are there." Raven points at a place on the map.

"Great, let's go." I say.

We all walk in the direction of the dorms. When we get there two females are standing outside it.

"Hello." one greets. "May I get your names?" she asks.

"Clarke Griffin." I say.

She looks down at some papers. "Great. You're in dorm B9." she says. "You can get your keys from her." she says.

Nodding I walk over to the other woman.

"What dorm?" the woman asks.

"B9." I say. She hands me some keys.

"You have a roomate. Don't worry, this is the females only dorm." she says.

I nod and head into the dorm house.

"What room do you have?" Raven walks up to me.

"B9. You?" I ask.

"C1." she says.

"I have A5." Octavia says.

"Looks like we're all on different floors." I say.

"Looks like it. We'll meet up after though." Raven says.

I don't respond.

"That's my dorm." Octavia starts walking. "Wish me luck." she says. Her luggage follows behind her.

"Accompany me to my dorm?" I ask.

"Of course." Raven says.

We head up the stairs. As we walk we talk.

"This it?" Raven asks. "

I think, I'll see you later." I say.

Raven waves and starts heading up the stairs. I use my dorm key to open the door.

"What the..." I look around. The whole dorm has stuff scattered around. "Um... hello?" I ask. There's no response. "Is anyone here?" I ask. Still no response. I walk around.

_All doors are open. No sign of life._

"Must've came then left." I say. Sighing I head to an empty room. I leave my stuff in there before heading to the kitchen. I use a plastic cup to get some water. The sound of door creaking open catches my attention. I turn around to look at the person.

A woman stands at the door.

"H-hi, I'm your roomate." I say. T

he woman doesn't respond. She only stares at me. Her eyes wide.

"Are you ok?" I ask. I walk over to her.

"Don't." she steps away.

"Sorry." I step back.

"What's your name?" she asks.

"Clarke, Clarke Griffin." I say.

"How?" she asks.

"Well my parents nam-" she cuts me off.

"Not like that!" she says. "Ugh, forget it." she turns and walks into a room. The door slams shut.

_Did I do something?_

The woman pops into my head again. She had dark brown hair cut to her shoulders. Her eyes were a pretty green. Though they did seem angry, shocked, and scared.

_Have... have we met before?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, I know. I promise they're get longer. The farther into the story I get, the longer the chapters will be. The next chapter will be told from Lexa's pov. I was debating if I wanted to add Lexa's pov into this chapter but decided not to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke had realized who her roommate is... Only one problem though, her roommate wants nothing to do with Clarke.

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = POV change

I stand at the door for a few seconds. _What just happened?_ Not wanting to dwell on the subject I head to my room. I know it's 1 pm but I'm exhausted.

Reaching into my pocket I pull of my phone. When I turn it on, my background of Lexa and I shows up. Sighing I stare at the old memory. The woman from before pops into my head. "Oh my god!" I run out of my bedroom and to the woman's door. Knocking I say, "open up". There's no response. " Open this damn door!" I kick at the door.

"Ugh, what do you want?" A voice from inside the room asks.

"I wanna talk." I say. A few second of silence pass between us. Having enough I shake the doorknob.

"Lexa Woods, come out here and talk to me." I say. Another few seconds pass before the door opens.

"What?" Lexa stands in front of me.

"Do I not get a hello?" I ask.

Lexa starts closing the door.

I put my foot in the way.

Lexa sighs and looks at me. "Is there a reason you're being annoying?" she asks.

"I haven't seen you in 5 years." I say.

"And?" she asks.

"What do you mean and?!" I stare at the brunette in shock. "I wanna catch up with my old friend." I say.

Lexa's grip on the knob tightens. "We're not friends." she growls. She glares at me.

I feel a shiver run up then down my spine.

"When you rejected me all those years ago, you turned your back on me. You turned your back on us." she says. "So there is no us, we, Clarke and Lexa, or Lexa and Clarke." she says.

I quickly move my foot when she slams the door shut.

"Well... nice to see you too." I say.

"Shut up!" Lexa yells.

_So that's how my first day went. I found an old friend, if that's what you wanna call her. But I also realized what I actually lost all those years ago._

_Maybe things will get better... I hope._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one. I promise the next will be longer. Also I forgot to make this chapter from Lexa point of view. I felt like I had to get this out of the way first


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I was just gonna do this chapter from Lexa's pov from when Clarke finds out they're roomates but I decided to go back to how the story starts.

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

January 5th (2038)

Lexa's pov:

"Alexandria" mom glances back at me. "Would you look up from the phone?"

Not bothering to respond I look away from the phone and out the window. The sky is a clear blue with no clouds in the sky. We drive by a woman with a white poodle. Some kids happily draw on the sidewalk. Feeling home sick, I look away. "Why do we have to move?", I look at mom.

The car slowly goes to a stop as the light turns red. Mom looks at me, "We've talked about this".

"Not really." I look up at her.

"Us moving..." she trails off as the light turns green. The car starts moving again. "will help your dad with his job".

"If you had a job, would we have had to move?"

Mom doesn't respond. After a few minutes of waiting I look back out the window. We drive through a gate.

"Where are we?" I look behind us.

Mom slows down, "this is the neighborhood".

Why does a neighborhood need a gate? The farther we drive into the neighborhood, the more common it is to see children. A group of yoga moms walk by. Groaning I sink down in my seat and hide my face.

Laughing mom asks, "what are you doing".

"This is the weirdest neighborhood", I peek up at mom.

"How so?"

"There's yoga moms that are speedwalking. I almost bet you there are some bratty rich kids that think they own a whole block."

"Sit up" mom smiles at me. "You can't judge people you don't know."

"Watch me." I sit up. Looking out the window I notice a little girl standing on her lawn. She clutches a ball as she looks at mom's car. I turn around in my seat when mom turns to the right. When I look back at the girl, she's gone.

A hand on my head has me looking up at mom. "What has you so interested?", she smiles down at me.

Shaking her hand off I say, "nothing, just imaging the torture I'm in for". I take mom's hand as she helps me out of the car.

"Was it the blonde?"

I look at mom in surprisel. "H-how'd you know?" I let go of her hand as she heads to the back of the car.

"I see more than you think, Alexandria." Mom pulls out a few stuff. "Carry these inside", I'm handed a box.

Setting the box on the counter I decide to explore my new 'home'. It's a big house. No surprise though, dad does have a lot of money.

"Dallas!"

The white dog runs through the house. Mom is quick to chase her and open the back door. Dallas runs out the back door.

Grumbling mom says, "dumb dog".

"If she's so dumb, then get rid of her." Mom looks at me shocked. _It's like she didn't know I was here._

"Your father would kill me", she runs her fingers through her hair. "Your stuff should be in a room, go unpack".

With a nod I run upstairs. A few hours pass, before I hear my name being called.

"Alexandria! Will you come help me out?"

Getting off my bed, I head downstairs. _What does she want now?_ I open the door and walk out.

"Come get these cookies", Mom says.

I notice a woman and her daughter standing near my mom. _Isn't that the blonde from before?_

"I'll take those", I'm handed the cookies.

I look out the window as the blonde and her mom walk away. "... hopefully we can hang out more", the blonde's voice rings in my head. _Why does she want that? She doens't know me._

(Next Day)

Not much to my surprise, I'm stuck hanging out with the blonde. I sit on the swinging bench as I watch the blonde play with Dallas. She throws a ball for the white dog.

"Wish I had a dog" the blonde sits by me. "Mom refuses to get me a dog, she says they're messy."

"They are." I say. I notice the blonde's face drop in disappointment. "But they are fun, they're like your best friend."

"Is it like that with Dallas?"

"Sorta... even though Dad's not around much, she likes him more." I look up. "And she hates my mom."

The blonde nods and looks at Dallas.

"Maybe I'll get a dog" hope falshes in the blonde's eyes.

August 18th (2051)

"You should've left for college 3 years ago." dad speaks up from the couch. "Why didn't you go?"

"It didn't feel right." I give a simple reply in hope of this subject ending.

"Does it have to do with that... Clarke girl?" Dad asks.

Sighing I hold back my anger. "Why do you assume all my decisions are related to her?"

Dad leans back and smiles at me. "I can see the way you reach when I say her name, the way your anger rises."

"Nyko, stop teasing your daughter."

I look at mom. I nod a thanks before standing up.

"Are you sure you don't a ride?" mom asks.

"I don't wanna make you guys drive.

Chuckling dad says, "we wouldn't take you, the guards would."

 _Should've known_ _._

"See ya." I leave the house and head to the car. Once my stuff is loaded in, I get in the car and head towards the airport. I can't help but look in the direction of Clarke's house. I don't expect the blonde to walk out of her house. She's with her two friends, Octavia and Raven. Raven looks straight at me. She gives me a look that has my anger boiling.

_Focus Alexandria, just forget the blonde._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you guys can see I tried a new way of writing. I read over it a million times before publishing. I don't know what way I prefer though. My old way or this way. I will say though, this way takes way longer. I started out by writing out my old way then fixing it so it looked like this but that took too long. I don't know which way you guys prefer.


	8. Chapter 8

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

(Clarke's pov)

Reaching over I grab my phone off my nightstand. "Hello?" I croak into my phone.

"Where the hell are you?" Raven asks. I can hear the annoyance in her voice.

"I'm in bed." I roll over so I'm on my stomach.

"Did you forget you were meeting us at Dutch Bros?"

Rubbing my eyes I say, "no".

"Then you're getting dressed right now?" she asks.

There's a few seconds of silence.

Raven clicks her tongue in the phone. "You still there?"

"Uuh... yeah, I was getting dressed." I say.

"Well hurry, Octavia is gonna eat someone's baby." Raven hangs up.

I look at the date on my phone. Saturday, August 19th 2051. _Getting up this early on a saturday._ When I leave my room, I see Lexa sitting at the table. She looks up from her phone. I wave at her but only get glared at.

_Right, this woman hates my guts._

Clearing my throat I leave the dorm room.

"What's up with you?"

I scream out of fear and turn around. Raven and Octavia stand a few feet away.

"I thought you were at Dutch Bros." I eye my two friends.

"We were... but came back so we could walk with you."

"Well you're not going to believe this." my friends and I start walking.

"What?! No." Raven looks at me in disbelief.

Taking a sip of my drink I nod. "I didn't believe it myself, took me a while to recognize her."

"Lexa Woods... shouldn't she be on her last year of college?" Octavia asks.

"That's what I was thinking." Raven says. She seems generally confused.

"Maybe she is, I don't know." I take another sip. "I doubt I would find out though."

"You might." Raven and Octavia both say at the same time. It's creepy how in sink they can be.

"The woman won't even talk to me." I take Raven's drink and take a sip. "Moving on from Lexa, who did you guys get put with?" I ask.

Raven smiles a big smile. "I got put with a gorgeous woman, she has short blue hair and her name is Luna."

"I assume you two get along" I give Raven back her drink.

"Yeah, we do... but Octavia hates her roomate."

I look at Octavia. She angrily chews her bottom lip.

"I can't stand the woman" she looks straight at me. "She's so sloppy, messy, and weird. She was having diarrhea all night."

"What's her name?" I ask.

"Harper Fay."

Harper? She sounds familiar. Shrugging I take another sip of my drink.

(Monday)

Leaping out of bed I run into the bathroom. "Late, late, I'm running late!" I hobble out of the bathroom and dig through the clothes on my floor.

"Where the hell did I put that uniform?" I growl. I throw clothes all over as I search. "What the hell!"

I walk into the classroom with a uniform in my hand. I notice Lexa sitting in the back of the classroom.

"Mrs. Griffin, where is your uniform?" Mr. Lane asks.

"I... uh... something came up." I walk over to Lexa. I notice she's also not in her uniform. "Here." I offer her, her uniform.

She doesn't say anything as she takes it. To my surprise she has my uniform.

"Where'd you find this?" I look at Lexa.

Lexa shakes her head not wanting to respond.

"Why don't you ladies head to the dress room and get changed." Lane says.

Lexa stands up and leaves the classroom. I decide to follow her. I notice the dress room has no stalls. Without hesitation, Lexa takes her shirt off. Turning around I start changing.

"Grabbed the wrong outfit."

I look at Lexa. "What?"

"You asked about the uniform." Lexa glances at me. "The principal delievered them on Sunday really late. I grabbed the wrong one when I was getting dressed."

"That explains a lot." I say. I turn away from her and continue getting dressed. Getting changed in the same room reminds me of a childhood memory.

(The bolded text is an old memory)

**December 24th (2041)**

**I look at the stack of presents. It's a high stack. _I can't believe Lexa bought all these for me._ Sighing I look down.**

**"Clarke, Lexa, why don't you two get ready for bed?" Mom asks.**

**Lexa responds with a 'yes' while I stay quiet. _I forgot I was staying at her place tonight._ **

**"Clarke, you coming?" Lexa's voice has me snapped out of my thoughts.**

**Looking up I see her standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Yeah."**

**I follow Lexa to her bathroom. As the tub fills, the bathroom is quiet.**

**"Want a bath bomb?"**

**I shrug not really caring.**

**"Taking that as a yes."**

**Lexa holds out the red and green ball. I look at it then her. "Undress, hold it as you go in the water."**

**I'm quick to undress. Lexa hands me the bath bomb then helps me into the tub. As soon as the water hits the bath bomb, it starts fizzing. I watch as glitter comes out of the bath bomb. Lexa sits across from me.**

**"What's wrong?"**

**"N-nothing." I keep my eyes on the bath bomb.**

**"Liar." Lexa sinks lower into the water. Her green eyes stare me down. "You've been acting weird this whole day, now once again, what's wrong?"**

**"It's just... the school year is almost over."**

**"You're sad about that?" I can hear Lexa's surprise. Her surprise turns into laughter.**

**"No!" I look at her. "Stop laughing at me!" I splash water on the brunette.**

**"Sorry, sorry." it takes a second for her to stop laughing. Once she stops, she asks, "If you're not mad about that, then what is it?"**

**"You move onto 5th grade."**

**"And you go to 4th." Lexa says as thouugh stating the sky is blue.**

**"But when you go to 5th, you leave the building", I look down. "I won't get to see you until school ends."**

**Lexa doesn't respond. I feel the gentle waves of the water hit my chest.**

**"You're an idiot."**

**I look up at Lexa, only to notice she's gotten closer. Her face is a few inches away. My whole body tenses up. Biting the corner of her lip, Lexa slightly tilts her head. She's looking at something. L** **exa shakes her head and sits back.**

**"I'll still see you", she scoops up some glitter. "Nothing will stop us from seeing eachother, we are neighbors."**

**I don't respond. 'Nothing will stop us from seeing eachother...' those words hold more than she's saying. _If only I could figure it out._ "Promise?"**

**"Of course," Lexa smiles at me. "Would I ever lie to you?"**

**"I guess not."**

**"Now cheer up, tomorrow's Christmas."**

(End of flashback)

The sound of a door clicking shut has me looking around. _Lexa's gone._ Sighing I shake my head. "How long was I spaced out?", I notice a ribbon on the floor. _What's this?_ Once I'm dressed I pick it up. Under it is a hair tie.

I recognize this ribbon. _She kept it._ A smile spreads across my face then drops again. "But... is she returning it?"

********

"Where's Clarke?" Mr. Lane faces me.

"She's still changing, just doing her hair." I sit down at my seat. _I wonder if she noticed the ribbon._

Looking down, I look at my wrist. A blue ribbon is tied around my wrist. Resting my head in the palm of my hand, I let out a sigh.

_I wish I could go back, back to the good days._

(Another flashback)

**December 25th, 2041**

**"Clarke, sweetie, just cut the ribbon." Abby says to her daughter.**

**"No, I can't."**

**Clarke seems determined to untie the ribbon.**

**"Need my help?" I get on my knees by her.**

**Clarke nods. I help her untie the ribbon. "There."**

**Reaching up Clarke undoes her bun. I notice something flash on Abby's face. I know she spent hours doing that bun. Clarke uses the ribbon to tie a ponytail.**

**"There", she smiles at me. "Hold still."**

**She uses the other ribbon to tie up my hair.**

**"Now we match."**

(End of flashback)

"Alexandria, Alexandria Woods." Mr. Lane calling my name has me looking at the front of the class.

"Are you listening?" he asks.

"Yes." I sit up.

"Then what was I just saying?"

I scan the scene. He has a book in his hand. "Rome and Juliet", of course, read this about 5 million times. Looking at the clock I see we've been in class for about 15 minutes. He can't be far. I notice a student has their own book.

"Juliet, Juliet and her family."

Mr. Lane doesn't respond. Instead he starts reading again. Through the corner of my eye, I can see Clarke looking at me. With a huff, I look back out the window.

********

As soon as the last bell goes off, I'm out the classroom. _Have to find Lexa, have to find Lexa._ I stop the brunette talking to a group of boys. Walking over I clear my throat.

"What do you want?" one of the boys growls.

"Now now", a different male steps forward. "Let's not jump to conclusions."

I eye the man. He has brown hair that goes to his shoulders. I can tell he's the 'leader' of the boys.

"What brings a pretty blonde over here?"

"I actually... um..." I glance at Lexa for help.

She doesn't seem like she's going to help me. In fact she seems mad.

"Oh I see, we'll leave you two to 'talk'", he winks at me before leaving with his 'gang'.

I face Lexa. "How did you know how to respond?"

Lexa only shakes her head and starts walking.

"Hey!", I follow after her. "Why do you hate me?"

"I have my reasons."

"Well we have to live together for the next 4 years, might as well get along."

Lexa stops walking. "We don't have to", she looks at me. "You leave me alone, and I leave you alone". She starts walking.

"What happened to you?"

Lexa whirls and faces me. When she does I see hate, anger, frustration.

"Things change over 5 years! We're no longer friends, the Lexa you knew doesn't exist. You can't come walking back into my life!" Lexa glares at me. "Just give up and move on."

"You're doing it again", I look the brunette in the eyes. "Do you think you're the only who was broken 5 years ago? You're not the only victim!"

I step forward.

"My life has changed more than I handle, I've lost the most important person in my life", I grab onto my shirt. "I had no one to turn to, no one to talk to, you weren't there when I needed you most!"

"You're the one that ended the friendship!"

"If all it takes is a rejection to break a 9 year friendship, then was it really a friendship?"

Lexa doesn't respond.

"You're right, the Lexa I did know isn't here. Instead she was replaced with someone I don't like", I step away. "When she shows up then come find me."

********

I watch the blonde walk away.

"She gets on my fucking nerves!", I put the shot glass down.

Luna doesn't respond. A few minutes pass before she does say something.

"Are you mad at her or you?"

I stare into the distance as I think about an answer.

A growl rumbles from my throat.

"Her."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having enough of Lexa and her drama, Luna decides to take matters into her own hands.

_This_ = someone's thoughts

 **This** = flashback (old memory)

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

August 29th, 2051

(Luna's pov)

"Then...", I trail off as I realize Lexa isn't listening. I follow her empty gaze. She's looking in the direction of the blonde. "If you keep staring, you might make her uncomfortable."

Lexa looks at me with an annoyed look. "Just saying", I look back at my food.

Lexa doesn't say anything. Instead she stands up and walks away.

_This whole situation is pissing me off._

Standing up I follow after her.

_If she hates the woman's guts so much, then why is she staring at her? Why is she letting the blonde affect her mood? Why am I getting so mad over this?_

I notice the blonde walking in my direction.

_Perfect._

A smile spreads across my face. "Excuse me, ma'am", I stop the blonde in her tracks.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you", I take her tray and dump it for her.

"I'm sorry but I have to go."

"It'll be really quick, please?" I watch as the blonde thinks about what to do.

"Fine."

The blonde follows me out of the eating area. "You know Lexa, right?"

Something flashes on the blonde's face before she nods. "Good, I understand you two are friends."

The blonde shakes her head.

"Aww, really? I thought you two were close."

"Not anymore... we went our separate ways 5 years ago."

Smiling I say, "I know".

The blonde looks at me, "then why ask?"

"For fun, but that's not what I wanted to talk about", I lean back against a tree. "You're messing with my friend."

"I don't even talk to her."

"You don't have to talk to someone to mess with them." When the blonde doesn't respond I say, "you may not realize it but her mood has changed. She's been out of it for a week now."

"This concerns me, how?"

"Figured I would tell you, just let you know that you still have an affect on her."

The blonde is dead silent. I realize my words got to her.

_Is Lexa a weak spot for the little duck? I wonder if she realizes it..._

"Anyways", I snap the blonde out of her thoughts. "I'm Luna, Luna Jones." I extend my hand.

"C-Clarke Griffin." the blonde shakes my hand.

"I share a dorm with your friend, Raven, I kinda want to get to know her", I bite my bottom lip as I think of my question. "Can... can I ask you a few things about her?"

********

"Where did you go?" Raven walks up to me with Octavia following.

"Luna wanted to talk to me."

"You finally met my roomate." Raven smiles at me.

"Yep", I nod.

"Well?" Raven steps forward. "What do you think?"

"She's nice...", her words come back to me. "For the most part."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"College, classes, random stuff." I can't tell Raven about the conversation. She's really noisy.

When I get back to my dorm, Lexa is sitting on the couch. She looks at me when I walk in. I no longer feel uncomfortable when it's just us. In fact, I've gotten use to it. I take off my shoes and set them by the door. Walking into the kitchen, I fill up a glass of water. I can still feel the brunette's eyes on me.

_She must be glaring at me, like always._

Sighing I leave the kitchen and head to my room.

********

(Lexa's pov)

I look out the window of the classroom. I can see someone put a chair in front of my desk and sit down.

"I talked to the duck."

"Duck?" I look at Luna.

"You know", Luna leans forward in her seat. "The blonde, Clarke I believe her name is."

"What did you do?" I growl at the blue haired woman.

"Woah, no reason to get protective there Commander."

Luna puts her hands up in surrender.

"What purpose did you have talking to her?"

"Just asking a few things, trying to get to know her better", Luna bites her lip for a second. "Something you suck at doing."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"I asked her about Raven", Luna stands up. "Unlike you, I wanna get to know my roomate."

The bell rings meaning class is starting. When P.E rolls around, I notice Luna talking to Raven.

"Partner up, practice the volleyball moves", Mrs. Smart blows her whistle.

Luna partners up with Raven. I look at the blonde. She's standing in one spot. Octavia is talking to Lincoln.

_What a coincidence that I get stuck with her._

Clarke walks in my direction. "Do you wanna be partners?"

I nod, "I'll get the ball."

I leave the blonde standing alone as I head to get a ball. As I search, Luna walks up to me.

"You and little duck."

"You did this on purpose", I growl at my friend.

"I don't know what you mean", a smirk spreads across her face.

Anger coming over me, I pick up a ball and chuck it. Luna dodges it. There's a thud as a someone falls to the floor. Luna looks over her shoulder.

"I know you hate the girl", she looks at me. "But was it necessary to hit her in the face?"

********

I wait for Lexa to get the volleyball.

"Clarke", Raven walks over to me.

"Yeah?"

"Guess who I'm with."

"I think I know", I look at Raven. "You did leave me for the blue hair."

Raven only shrugs. I look at Lexa. Something hits me straight in the face. I feel myself fall back.

"Alexandria Woods!", Mrs. Smart yelling has me sitting up. "You know we don't throw volleyballs like that!"

"You're bleeding", Raven crouches by me.

"Take Mrs. Griffin to the nurse."

Lexa walks over to me. I can hear her grumbling about something. _Probably me._

"You don't have to help", I stand up covering my nose as I do. "I know where to go."

"No, no, it's fine", Lexa gently pushes me forward. "Might as well take this chance to get out of this class."

_Great, I'm just an excuse._

It's quiet as we walk. Lexa took off her jacket and had me use it, instead of my hand, to catch the blood.

"My, my what happened?"

The nurse greets us at the door.

"She was hit with a ball", Lexa is very vague about the details.

"Ok, I'll take her from here, go on back to class", the nurse reaches for me, to my surprise Lexa grabs my shoulders and pulls me back.

"I'm staying with her", Lexa glares at the nurse.

The nurse seems shocked. I look at Lexa with the same amount of surprise.

_Why?_

"You care about her", the nurse's surprise turns into amusement.

"Nope", Lexa pushes me forward and to the nurse. "Just skipping out on class."

"Sure, tell yourself what you need to", the nurse leads me to a bed.

I notice Lexa glaring at the nurse.

_What did she do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I decided that Luna would call Clarke 'little duck'.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa are finally alone, what topics will be brought up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally gonna have this chapter in the last chapter but I forgot to add it. So I'm guessing this chapter will be short

_This_ = someon's thoughts

 **This** = past memory

******** = pov (point of view) change

"It's nothing too serious", the nurse whipes blood off my face. "Nothing's broken."

I lean back on one hand. "Just a bloody nose?"

"Just a bloody nose", the nurse puts the rag in the sink. "I'll go get your uniform so you're not in a bloody outfit."

She doesn't say anything else as she leaves the room. The room goes into an awkward silence.

_I should be use to this silence._

I risk a glance at Lexa. She's looking at a book about diseases. _Out of all the books, she has to read that?_

"Uh... thanks", I try to start a conversation.

Lexa glances at me, "for?"

"Taking me to the nurse."

"I kinda had to", she flips a page. "Also you're my ticket out of class."

"Right", I nervously play with my shirt. "You said that."

Lexa doesn't respond. She brings her legs up onto the chair and continues looking at the book.

"Here," the nurse walks over to me with my uniform. "Get changed, then off to class with both of you."

She leaves the room again, probably for privacy. I close the curtains and start changing.

"I've always wondered", I hear Lexa stand up. "How did your birthday go after I left?"

I tense up at her question. "It... um...", I put my skirt on. "Went ok."

"You have to be more specific."

"Well", I put my shirt on. "I went home after you left. I spent the day with my friends and family, then went to sleep."

I walk out form behind the curtain. Lexa stands by the curtains. "I'll take the clothes."

She takes my clothes.

"Thanks", I put on different shoes.

"I don't know how long ago but you said that your life changed over 5 years."

I nod. "It has."

"If you don't mind me asking, how?"

"Well... I lost my dad."

Something flashes in Lexa's eyes. "Let's get to the gym."

We start walking to the gym. It's silent as we walk. _No surprise._ When I can't stand the silence anymore I ask, "what did you do after the... thing?"

"I'm gonna be honest", Lexa looks at me. "I cried."

_I've never seen Lexa cry. Me rejecting her, made her cry._

Lexa looks away. "I honestly couldn't fuction after that. I guess I thought that it would end happy."

"But it didn't."

"Yep", Lexa walks ahead of me. "The next day, my dad came back after that."

_She's opening up to me?_

"He wasn't exactly the best when he came back. We don't get along."

Lexa stops walking. She turns and faces me, hands behind her back. "Enough about me, what happened to you?"

We talk the rest of the way to the gym. When we get there everyone is playing a full game of volleyball. I sit on the sidelines with my legs pulled to me.

"You're quiet." Raven says.

I shrug. "I wish I could play."

Raven laughs.

"It's not funny", I shover her shoulder.

Lexa walks over to us. "Raven, you're in", she sits by me.

Raven stands up and joins the game.

"Do you really hate me?", I look at Lexa.

"Where'd that come from?"

"Ever since we met again, you've been really sour", I hug my legs tighter.

"Well..." Lexa looks at me. "What do you think?"

"I think you do."

"Then I guess I do", she looks straight ahead of her.

"I really want to be your friend", I look down. "I mean I want to be friends again."

When Lexa doesn't say anything, I look at her. The softness in Lexa's eyes goes away. The look on her face sends shivers down my spine.

"Lexa?"

A smile slowly spreads across her face. "You wanna be friends again?"

I nod. Lexa leans towards me. She swipes her tongue over her bottom lip.

_So close, so close._

"Hmm", her eyes scan me over. She leans closer. "Whatever."

She gives me space.

"Is that a yes?"

Lexa shrugs and stands up. "I don't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest. I had a lot for Lexa and Clarke to talk about but forgot most of it. I got distracted when writing this then I got bored. I guess some chapter are more fun to write than others.


	11. Chapter 11

This = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

September 4th, 2051

********

(Luna’s pov)

Walking up to Lexa I can see she’s spacing out.

“What’s up with you?”, I sit across from her.

“Something Clarke said has me thinking”, she bites into her fries.

“What did the duck say?”

“Nothing too serious”, Lexa finishes her fry. “I shouldn’t even be bugged by it.”

“Commander”, I look at her. “Just tell me, don’t try to drive around the subject.”

Lexa looks in the direction of the blonde. “She said she wants to be friends, again.”

“Why does that have you thinking?”, I take one of her fries. “Shouldn’t you be happy?”

“Why would I be happy?”

“Well, the blonde wants to be your friend obviously meaning she wants to restart, which is what both of you need.”

Lexa growls and looks at me. “We don’t need a restart button.”

“Are you sure about that?”, I lean back on my hands. “Ever since she turned you down, you’re mood has changed. That one moment haunts you.”

“It doesn’t haunt me”, Lexa stands up.

“If it doesn’t haunt you then why do you think about it all the time?”

Lexa glares down at me.

“Every day, every time you see the blonde, you think of when she rejected you.”

I can see Lexa’s getting mad. Some heads turn to look at us. I stand up. “That’s all you think of.”

“Luna”, Lexa growls at me.

“Clarke has successfully made it into your head”, I lean forward. “And that annoys you, it makes you mad.”

Fire seems to light up in Lexa’s eyes.

“All you’ve ever done was block people out of here”, I put my finger where her heart is. “You trained yourself to do that, but some blonde comes around and it all falls.”

“Shut up.”

I smile at Lexa’s anger. “You let her in and then your heart shatters, because she rejected you.”

“Shut the fuck up!”, Lexa yells at me.

By now everyone is looking at us. A teacher walks over to us. “Is there a problem?”

“No”, I grab my plate. “Not at all”, I walk away from Lexa and the teacher.

********

(Clarke’s pov)

I sit a table away from Lexa and Luna. Lexa is standing up glaring at the blue haired woman. Lexa’s hands grip the edge of the table to the point her knuckles are white.

“Shut the fuck up!”, Lexa yells at Luna.

“I haven’t seen Lexa that mad in ages”, Raven whispers to me.

I don’t respond to her. Lexa leans forward and starts running her fingers through her hair.

_A part of me wants to go over to her. Talk to her, do something._

I shake my head and look at at my food.

_That part of me is crazy… really crazy._

Someone suddenly grabs my wrist. Before I have time to acknowledge what’s going on, I’m outside. I look at the hand around my wrist. “You’re hurting me.”

The hand quickly lets me go. “Sorry.”

I look at the person. Lexa is looking around like she’s trying to hide.

“So-”

“Please”, Lexa looks at me. “Don’t talk.”

_Then what the hell do I do?!_

Lexa does a quick glance around again. “I’m sorry for suddenly dragging you out here.”

_Why did she drag me out?_

“I just needed someone to walk with”, Lexa answers my unasked question. “I would walk with Luna but… I think you know the story.” Anger rises in her eyes again, “everyone does.”

_Can I talk now? Or is that still a no?_

Not wanting to risk anything, I keep silent.

Lexa sighs. She looks down at her feet. I suddenly feel sorry for the brunette.

_I haven’t seen her so vulnerable… normally she has a whole wall built around her._

“Hey… um…”, I step closer to her. “I don’t know if this will help but whatever has you down, it’s gonna get better.”

Lexa glares at me, “I don’t need your pity.”

The sorry feeling goes away. “It wasn’t pity, it was sympathy.”

The glare in her eyes goes away.

_She looks vulnerable again._

“Sorry, I’m not used to people actually caring about my feelings.”

I start walking. Looking over my shoulder, I smile at Lexa. “Coming?”


	12. Chapter 12

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

(Lexa’s pov)

Clarke smiles at me. When she does the whole world seems to light up. The sun turns her blonde her into a golden color. It’s like my world is full of more co-

_Stop it! Stop!_

“Coming?”

_I did drag her out here for a walk._

I catch up to the blonde. We walk in peaceful silence which is surprisingly not awkward. We’re both left to our silent thoughts.

Clarke breaks the silence. “I remember walking like this”, the blonde looks at me. “Do you?”

(Flashback)

**June 5th ,2040**

**“Be careful you two!”, Abby calls after us.**

**“We will!”, I jump over a rock.**

**Clarke runs by me. Sand kicks up into the air as she runs. I move closer to the ocean until I’m running in the water. Clarke moves around me and purposely splashes me.**

**“It’s on”, I splash her back.**

**“The sky is pretty”, Clarke looks at the sunset.**

**“It’s more pretty with you here”, I smirk at my blonde friend.**

**Her face turns into a bright red. “You jerk!”, she shoves my shoulder.**

**Laughing I grab her hand. “It’s true”, we walk hand in hand along the beach.**

(End of flashback)

“How could I forget?”

Clarke shrugs. She looks down, “do you ever wish we could go back?”

“Back to the beach?”

“No… back when everything was easy.”

“Maybe things turned out this way for a reason.”

“Maybe”, she looks up. “I kinda wish they didn’t turn out like this though.”

“It’s only human nature to have regrets.”

There’s a few minutes of silence.

“Why haven’t you graduated?”, the blonde looks at me. “You’re 3 years older than me.”

“So?”

“Why aren’t you on your last year of college?”

“I started this year.”

“Why?”

“Because”, I eye the blonde. “I wanted to.”

“What good does it do you?”

“No good.”

Clarke smiles. “Unless there’s someone in this year that you want to see.”

I chuckle at her guess.

“What?”

“You know I don’t fall for people.”

“You fell for me.”

I grab her cheek. “That’s because you’re you.”

“Wo?”, Clarke takes my hand off her. “What difference does it make?”

“A big difference”, I smile at her. “Trust me.”

********

_I try to find a difference. I guess me and the person are two different people. But the more you get to know someone, the more of a chance you have of falling in love with the person._

“What’re you thinking about so hard?”

“You”, I look at Lexa.

She stops walking. The back of her neck turns a red as the tip of her ears do the same.

_Is she blushing?_

Lexa awkwardly coughs. “We… we should get back.”

I look behind us. I haven’t noticed how far we’ve gotten from the cafeteria. “Yeah, we should.”


	13. Chapter 13

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

September 5th, 2051

Raven suddenly jumps on my back.

“Ugh, get off.”

She ruffles up my hair before getting off. “What happened between you and Lexa?”

“We talked”, I smooth down my hair. “I just did this”, I growl at Raven.

“What did you guys talk about?”, she ignores my anger.

“The past, random things”, I look at her. “Why?”

“Just a question.”

“Anyways”, Octavia hip bumps me. “Your birthday is in 5 days.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I was thinking of staying home and chilling.”

“Booooring!”, Raven yells in my ear.

“Let’s party.”

“You wanna get laid.”

“I can do that easily”, Raven winks at me.

“I’m not lesbian!”

“That’s what you think. But in all seriousness, I wanna do something to remember my first college year.”

_Bullshit._

“And we can invite the green eyed dragon”, Raven gives me a look.

“What?”. I notice Octavia is giving me the same look.

“You can’t tell us you weren’t thinking of doing something with her.”

“I wasn’t.”

Octavia leans in. “Liar.”

“Can we get to class?”

“You’re blushing”, Raven smiles at me.

“Shut up!”

********

“It seems like a certain blonde has something for you”, Luna looks at me.

“Don’t jump to conclusions”, I open the door to the girls bathroom to walk out.

“I can tell you’re happy.”

“Not with you”, I quickly walk away from my ‘friend’.

“Don’t be like that!”, she chases after me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short


	14. Chapter 14

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

I walk into the classroom with Luna following

“Talk to me Lexa!”

All heads turn and look at us.

“Mrs. Jones”, Mrs. Floyd looks at us. “I hope you know it’s rude to interrupt someone when they’re speaking.”

“Sorry Mrs”, Luna scampers to her seat. “Won’t happen again.”

I sit at my seat, a smirk on my face.

“Same goes for you Mrs. Woods.”

The smirk disappears from my face.

“I will be passing out your tests, some of you will have to redo it. If you fail the second time then expect to take this class over or come in during summer.”

When my test comes, my face drops.

“What’d you get?”, Luna turns in her seat.

“A… a F.”

_Dad is gonna kill me when I visit._

Luna bursts out laughing.

“It’s not funny you asshole!”

“Never in my life”, Luna wipes her tears. “Did I think a Woods would get an F.”

“Sh-shut up!”, I stuff my test in my backpack. “You know math isn’t my specialty.”

“Hope you do good on the second test”, Luna smiles at me. “Unless you want to spend your summer doing this.”

I try to think of a solution when Clark speaks up.

“I can help you.”

********

Lexa looks at me with the same shock Luna, Raven, and Octavia have.

“You’ll what?”

“I don’t mean to eavesdrop but”, I stand up. “Math is what I’m best at. I could help you study.” I walk over to Lexa and lay my test in front of her. “I did get an A.”

Lexa looks at my test then at me. “What do you get from this?”

“The pleasure of knowing I helped someone.”

“Why would you help me?”

“No one likes to waste a summer.”

Lexa narrows her eyes at me. I snatch the test. “I guess not”, I turn to walk away.

“Wait”, Lexa grabs my wrist.

“Yes?”

“I… I would like you to help me”, she looks down.

“Ok”, I think for a second. “When are you free?”

“Anytime after school.”

“Great, meet me at the table by the tree after school.”

I look at her hand on my wrist. “And… could you let me go?”

“Sorry”, she lets me go.

“See you later”, I walk away from Lexa and back to my friends.

“I didn’t think you were gonna help her.”

I look at Octavia. “Why?”

“I thought she hated your guts.”

“Even those that hate you, might need your help.” I lean back, “and who knows, this might help our relationship.”

********

“Good luck”, Luna nudges me with her elbow.

“Where are you off to?”

“I have a bird to flirt with”, she winks at me. “Wish me luck.”

_Why does she like Raven?_

Rolling my eyes I search for the tree. I freeze when I see Clarke waiting under the tree. Pink blossoms falls around her. Her golden hair slightly blows in the breeze.

_She looks like someone out of a movie._

“Lexa”, Clarke waves at me.

I walk over to her. “Hey.”

“Did you bring your test?”

I pull out my test.

“Great”, Clarke tucks some hair behind her ear. “Shall we start?”


	15. Chapter 15

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

September 7th, 2051

********

“You add…” I trail off as I realize Lexa isn’t listening. She stares blankly at something, at me.

Snapping in her face I get her attention.

“Huh? Yeah?”

“You’ve been staring blankly for the last 2 days”, I put the back of my hand on her forehead. “You feeling ok?”

“Yeah.”

I take my hand off. “Maybe we should stop for today, give you time to think things out.”

Lexa nods and stands up. I start gathering my things.

“Hey… uh Clarke”, Lexa looks at me.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing for your birthday?”

“Nothing”, I stand up. “I was planning on relaxing.”

“So you got no plans?”

I nod, picking up my phone. “Why?”, I notice a few messages from mom.

“I was wondering if you wanted to do something”, Lexa’s ears start turning red. “Just to celebrate.”

I have to admit, she’s cute when she’s blushing.

“I would love that”, I smile at her. “Just tell me the time and place.”

Lexa nods.

“Well see you tomorrow”, I wave at the brunette.

She waves back then we both go our separate ways.

********

September 9th, 2051

“What are you thinking about?”

“I told Clarke I would take her somewhere for her birthday”, I bury my face in the pillows. “But I don’t know where.”

“Take the girl somewhere fun.”

I look at Luna. “Like?”

“A fair, the beach, something.”

“Where would we eat?”

“It’s not a date”, Luna looks away from the tv and at me. “Unless it is.”

“No! It’s not.”

“Then stop getting flustered.”

I bury my face back in the pillows. “You’re no help.”

The tv goes silent.

“Listen”, Luna flicks my head. “Clarke is a simple girl, as long as you’re with her, she’s happy. Just do something.”

I roll over and hug the pillow. “What if I screw everything up?”

Luna sighs, “you’re helpless.”

There’s a few minutes of silence.

“There’s a fair on Sunday”, Luna shows me her phone. “It’s by the beach. Go enjoy the fair, play games, take photos, make memories… have fun.”

I grab the phone and look at the pictures.

“After that?”

“Then take a walk on the beach.”

Sitting up I smile at Luna. “You’re the best.”

"I know", Luna takes her phone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come for Lexa to take Clarke out. Where will they be going and will they have fun?

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

Sunday, September 10th, 2051

********

I walk out of my room. Lexa sits at a table scrolling through something.

“Morning”, I greet the brunette.

She quickly turns off her phone at the sound of my voice. “M-morning.”

I decide not to ask what she was looking at.

“We’ll be leaving at 7pm”, Lexa walks over to the sink.

“To?”

“Somewhere.”

“Why so late?”

“You’ll see”, she glances at me. “Where will you be at 7?”

“Raven’s… maybe O’s.”

“Great, I’ll call you.”

_Does she have my phone number?_

“Nice, well I have to go”, I grab my phone. “I’ll see you at 7.”

********

“I regret not planning something for Clarke’s B-day”, Raven lays across the back of the couch.

“No reason to dwell on regret.”

“Why are you so calm?”

“Why can’t I be calm?”

Raven looks at me. “It’s not you.”

“I’ve been meditating.”

Raven starts laughing. “You’re so gay.”

“I’m straighter than you’ll ever be!”

“You guys are dumb”, Clarke’s voice scares me.

I look at the front door. “When did you get here?”

“A few minutes ago”, she sits on the couch.

“Shouldn’t you be on a date?”

“It’s not a date”, Clarke snatches a cookie from me. “It’s just hanging out.”

I look at Raven. She makes a kissy face in a teasing way.

“We’re leaving at 7”, Clarke ignores her Latino friend.

“That’s late”, I turn off the tv. “Are you going to a club or something?”

“Don’t know.”

“Then we’ll have to waste time until then.”

********

“No making out!” Raven smiles at me.

Grabbing a pillow I hit her in the face.

“No promises”, Lexa smirks at them.

“You get it girl!”, Raven hollers into the air.

I quickly push Lexa out of the dorm room.

“So…”, I walk by her. "Where're we going?"

"Well", Lexa looks left then right before crossing the street. "It's in walking distance."

"Most things are in walking distance from the school."

"I guess."

"Give me a clue."

"This place is by the beach."

"A dock?"

Lexa laughs at my answer. "Not a dock, but good guess."

"Another clue."

"Nope, another one might ruin the surprise."

We walk in silence as I look around.

"Have you not been out of the school?"

"Would you laugh if I said yes?"

Lexa doesn't respond. She grabs my hand and brings me closer to her.

"What's wrong?"

"We're in a crowd."

"So?"

"You're wearing a skirt, you'd be surprised what pictures people can get."

"I have shorts on."

Lexa shrugs and keeps walking. She holds my hand for the rest of the way. We stop at a fair gates.

"A fair?"

"Yep", Lexa leads me in.

I look around in awe at all the rides. Squeezing Lexa's hand I point at the ferris wheel. "Can we go?"

Lexa nods. "We can go anywhere you want."

Squealing with delight I start running, dragging Lexa behind me as I do.


	17. Chapter 17

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

"That ride", I point at a rollercoaster.

Lexa looks at it, her eyes wide. "That one?"

"Yeah", I look at her. "It looks fun."

Lexa checks the time. "Don't you wanna get something to eat?"

"Everyone knows you don't eat before a ride."

"There's a hot dog stand", Lexa takes my hand and starts walking.

"Are you scared?"

My question has Lexa frozen in place.

"I am no scaredy", she looks at me.

"Then let's go on the ride."

Lexa sighs, "fine."

She starts walking to the rollercoaster. Quilt runs through me.

"I'm actually hungry", I head towards the hot dog stand. "Let's not go on that."

"Thank god."

"What?", I look at Lexa.

"Nothing, let's get some food."

We sit on a bench as we eat.

"What time is it?"

"It's 9:37."

I read a poster that says something about fireworks. "Are we staying long enough for that?"

"For what?"

"The fireworks, they're at 10."

"We can."

I look at the ferris wheel.

_It would be great to watch from the ferris wheel._

Lexa stands up and holds out her hand. "Let's take a walk."

I take her hand and follow her out of the fair. We head to the beach. Taking off my shoes I dig my feet into the sand. Lexa does the same.

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Taking me out."

Lexa shrugs. "It was nothing, I'm having fun."

"So am I", I smile at her.

We start walking. Lexa looks out at the ocean. When I do, I see a blonde and a brunette playing in the water. Laughing like there's no trouble in their life.

_If only they knew._

When I look at Lexa, she's looking at me.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just", she reaches out and tucks hair behind my ear. "The ocean seems to reflect on your eyes."

My face heats up. "Why do you have to say things like that?", I hide my face in my hands.

"It's the truth."

"What time is it?", I try to change the subject.

"We should get back to the fair."

"But we just got here", I don't care that I'm complaining like a toddler.

" 15 more minutes", Lexa glances at her phone.

Fifteen minutes go by fast.

_if only time would stop._

Lexa grabs my hand and starts running. At the farris wheel line she negotiates with the person.

"How much money will it cost for you stop my cart at the top?"

I watch as they make a deal. When we get in a cart I look at Lexa.

"You didn't have to spend $150 on me."

Lexa shrugs and sits down. The farris wheel starts moving. It stops at the top. I look up at the starry night.

"Hey Clarke."

I look at Lexa.

"I would like to be friends too", she smiles at me.

I smile back at her. A weird feeling erupts from my chest.

_Why do I wanna be more than friends? Am I going crazy?_

********

Halfway through the show, I look at Clarke. The bright colors of the fireworks shine on her face. All her features stand out. I smile. For the first time ever since I was 16, I feel like life is perfect. I feel peace and happiness.

_What is this blonde doing to me?_

"Wow", Clarke leans forward in her seat.

Laughing I look at the fireworks.

_I can't be falling in love... am I?_


	18. Chapter 18

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

Monday, September 18th, 2051

"How has your studying been?"

When I don't respond, she flicks my forehead. I look up from my phone. "What?"

"Who are you texting?", she leans forward on her hands.

I turn off my phone. "No one."

"Is it Clarke?", she sits back. "You know she's across the gym."

"She's on the opposite team though."

Luna doesn't respond. She brings her knees to her chest and hugs them. I watch as her mood goes from curious to something else. She looks across the gym with a sad and longing look. Following her gaze, I see Raven.

"Has nothing improved between you two?"

"Not really", Luna glances at me. "I haven't had time to talk with her."

"You two live together."

"You'd think that'd give me time but, your girlfriend is always with her."

"She's not my girlfriend", I put my phone by me. "I could try to take Clarke away from her though."

"That would help."

"Or you could tell Raven that you want to hangout."

Luna shrugs.

_Someone is in love._

"Alexandria, you're in", Mrs. Smart calls me into the game.

Clarke smiles at me. "I can't go easy on you."

"Hope you don't", I smile back at her.

********

I stand in the locker room searching for uniform shirt when Lexa walks up to me.

"Hey", I smile at her.

"Hi, could we hang out after school?"

"Sure", I finally find my shirt. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Anywhere is fine", Lexa seems to hesitate on her next words. "I actually wanna ask you a few questions."

"About?"

"Raven."

I look at her. My smile drops as I look at her. "Why do you wanna know about Raven?"

Lexa shrugs. I think for a second.

_During gym Luna was looking at Raven._

"I might be able to answer some questions but", I take off my shoes. "If Luna wants to get to know Raven, she'll have to ask Raven herself", I walk away from Lexa.

********

I end up taking Clarke to a nearby cafe. She orders hot chocolate with whip cream. A lot of whip cream. Scooping some off with my finger, I flick it onto Clarke's nose. Laughing she wipes it off. "Ask the questions."

"Right, do you know if Raven likes anyone?"

"As far as I'm aware, she doesn't."

"Things she enjoys?"

"Technology, bombs, and guns... also drinking", Clarke takes a sip from her hot chocolate. "Along with drinking comes getting laid."

"She likes sex?"

"She likes toying with the people she lays."

"And you?"

She looks down at the whip cream. "I haven't had... sex", she glances at me.

"Right", I clear my throat. "Anyways, where would Raven enjoy going?"

"A club."

"Luna notice Raven was yelling at someone on the phone. Someone that started with an M, what's up with that?"

"It was probably her older brother, let's just say they don't have the best relationship", Clarke gives me a look. The look tells me not to ask about any further questions about the subject. I nod telling her I understand. "How's your relationship with our family?"

_Sudden change of subject._

I do notice that Clarke's eyes soften. They're back to the gently ocean blue eyes I know. "It's... ok."

"You said your dad is back home."

"I kinda wish he wasn't."

"What about your siblings?"

"How'd you know I have siblings?"

"When I was younger, I overheard our parents talking. I had no idea that you had 3 siblings living with your dad."

"Step siblings", I lean back in my seat.

"Why didn't you live with your dad?"

"My mom and dad divorced when I was 2... my dad hated my guts, believe it or not."

Clarke leans forward seeming interested.

"He uh... he would take his anger out on mom, then mom would take her anger out on me. Not physically like dad did to her, but verbally", I brush hair out of Clarke's face. "She would say it was my fault that their relationship was shit", I look out the window. "Then he couldn't take it anymore."

**WARNING, some might find this sensitive to them. I do not wish to offend anyone.**

(Flashback)

**Crying I pull the blanket over my head. I hear something shatter outside my door. I curl up trying to block it out.**

**"Don't touch her!", light suddenly fills the room.**

**I know better than to get out from under the blanket when dad is in the room. There's a growl then the light is gone. When I peek out I see no one in the room. I decide to leave the room. When I do I see dad raise his hand then there's a loud slap. Mom goes stumbling back.**

**"Momma!", I run over to her.**

**"What are you doing out of your room", she growls at me as she stands up.**

**Dad glares at me. "You were a mistake", he turns and walks towards the exit.**

**Mom calls after him when he's long gone. I run over to the window and look out the window. The car speeds away, away from me, away from mom, away from us. I hear the pantry open then close. Heading into the kitchen I find mom sitting at the table. She has a cigarrette and a bottle of something.**

**"Mom-"**

**"Go to bed!", she yells at me. "Little shit."**

(End of flashback)

"We never saw him again after that", I look at Clarke.

"Your mom seemed nice."

"She was good at putting on a mask, but every now and then my dad and his kids would visit... weird thing is that mom treated his kids better than she treated me."

(Flashback)

**Red runs into the house covered in mud.**

**"Red! I wou...", I trail off as the next thing that happens has me shocked.**

**Mom looks at Red and starts laughing. "What have you done?", she crouches down and looks at him.**

**I haven't seen her smile in ages. No matter how hard I tried, she wouldn't smile. "Mom", I walk into the house.**

**The smile immediately disappears. "Get out of the house Alexandria! You know better!", mom stands and grabs my wrist. She throws me outside. "God, you dragged mud everywhere, why are you such a mess?", she closes the door on me.**

_**What about** _ **Red?**

**I notice mom using a towel to wash Red off. I look down at myself. "I want a towel too...", I look back through the window. Out of nowhere Dallas runs over to me. She runs in a circle around me. "At least you're here."**

(End of flashback)

"Everything my siblings did was ok, I breathe and she's mad."

Clarke doesn't respond to me.

"Once I turned 18, I left. I couldn't stand to be with them any longer."

"What happened to your siblings?"

"They're getting babied", I sit back. "The only thing I do get is my dad's business which is a big surprise."

"Well I'm an only child so can't relate", Clarke shrugs.

Smiling I take more of her whip cream. "Hope you can't."

Clarke opens her mouth to say something but my phone goes off. I look at the caller. 'Jessica', that's weird.

"Who is it?"

"My mom."

"Maybe she knew we were talking about her", Clarke smiles at me.

I flash a smile not really feeling playful.

"Well answer it."

I put the phone on speaker and answer the call.

"Alexandria?"

"I'm here."

"I know that!", she snaps at me.

"Are you gonna yell at me or get to the point?"

"Your sister, Jasmine, wants me to invite you to a Thanksgiving thing."

"Why should I go?"

"I don't know."

"If you do come, bring a boyfriend", dad says from the background.

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Well surprise surprise."

I glance at Clarke. "I can bring a friend though."

Clarke opens her mouth to say something. I stuff a donut in her mouth.

"Better than nothing."

"Great", I hang up.

"What the hell!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full", I smile at her. "It's rude."

Clarke glares at me. Even though she's mad I can see amusement in her eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

Monday, September 18th, 2051

********

"You alone?", I walk up to Raven.

"Yeah", she glances at me. "Clarke is hanging out with her girlfriend."

"Lexa says they're not dating."

"Let them believe what they need to", Raven puts her phone away. "Anyways, I have to go, see you later."

Raven gets farther and farther from me.

_It's now or never._

"Raven."

********

"Dam you", I glare at Lexa.

"What did I do?"

"Get me sucked into your family problems."

Lexa shrugs. "I trust you."

"Glad to hear that but why do I have to come to your Thanksgiving?"

"You live across the street, just go to your parents."

"My parents are going on a trip for Thanksgiving."

Lexa frowns. "Oh... sorry."

"It's fine", I wipe my mouth with a napkin. "Oh my god", I look out the window.

"What?", Lexa looks out the window.

"Raven and Luna", I point at the two across the street.

"I'll be damned, she actually did it."

"Can we count this as a date?"

Lexa thinks for a second before nodding. "They're totatlly going on a date."

"Finally", I glance at Lexa. "Something for me to tease Raven about."

Lexa laughs. Reaching over she ruffles up my hair. "You're a weird girl."

I smile at Lexa and put m hand over hers. "I know."

November 18th, 2051

"What are you doingfor break?", Raven walks over to me. "Do you think we could hang out?"

"I'm sorry but I have plans."

"Oh... another family reunion?"

"Pfft, no."

"Then... a trip?"

"Sorta."

"I'm confused."

"I'm going back to my house with Lexa."

"So a friendly get away?"

"I guess", I look at Raven. "Lexa is actually having a family reunion and she would like me to come along."

"Why?"

"Trusts me", I look away. "Hang with Luna."

"Luna is going over seas."

"Octavia?"

"Bellamy is dragging her to a cabin in the woods."

"Um... family?"

"Hate them."

"Dam, you literally have no one."

"It's fine, I'll entertain myself."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be", Raven smiles at me. "We can't always be together."

_I wasn't apologizing for that._

I roll my eyes and grab my backpack. "I'll see you in a week or two."

Raven nods.

_I feel bad for leaving her but I have to go. Lexa's counting on me._

I head towards the exit. When I do I hear hushed whispers.

_Probably idiot students._

"... Raven."

At the sound of my friend's name, I stop walking.

"That's who you're gonna ask?"

"Yeah, she's hot."

_I don't recognize these voices._

"She has no titties."

"It's not all about the tits."

"You know who does have good tits?"

"Who?"

"That Octavia girl."

"But she always wearing a glare."

There's no response.

_Does someone else like Raven?_

"I would head after Clarke but-" the guy is cut off by a scream. Everyone in the class goes silent.

"Teacher! Teacher!", a girl runs into the class.

Mr. Lane looks up from his book.

"There's a fight", the girl runs out of the class. I follow the rest of the class to see what's going on. Students all surround the scene of the crime.

"Who is it?", Raven stands by me.

I shrug. I notice a boy standing really close to her. His face is red.

_Forget that._

I start pushing to the front of the crowd. Once I'm at the front I notice Luna standing by me. She has a look of fear on her face. I follow her gaze to the people fighting. A man wipes the blood off the corner of his mouth. He blocks me from seeing the second fighter. When he finally moves I see a familiar face. A certain brunette stands in the middle of everyone. Her eyes red with anger.


	20. Chapter 20

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

I look at Lexa in shock. The man swings at her. She catches his fist and twist it until there's a painful snap. Everyone goes silent. The snap seems to echo off the walls and back to me.

"What the hell happened?", I whisper to Luna.

"I don't know, we were walking to the class to come get you and Raven then Lexa is fighting with someone."

"Fights don't just happen", I eye the scene. "At least not for no reason."

When I look back at Lexa she's on top of the man. Her fists hitting his face over and over again. A girl screams for her to stop.

_Must be the girlfriend._

The boys face is covered in blood.

"She's going to get expelled", Luna whispers.

_What will her dad think?_

"You have to do something", Luna looks at me.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Stop it", Luna pushes me into the clear area. "She'll listen to you."

A man runs to Lexa. She seems to notice him immediately. Turning around she knees him in between his legs. Grabbing the back of his neck she moves his head down with the intentions to knee him in the face.

"Lexa!"

At the sound of my voice, Lexa freezes. The man pulls away from her.

"Please, stop."

Lexa looks at me. The man raises his hand to hit her. She dodges him and kicks him in the ribs. He falls to his side. She kicks him repeatedly as he lies on the ground. Running over I stand between her and the man. My arms out. Unconsciously Lexa raises her fist. I screw my eyes shut preparing to get hit. Nothing comes. When I open my eyes, Lexa is looking at me. She tucks hair behind my ear. Some blood does get on my ear.

"Get those boys out of here", Mr. Lane finally speaks up.

_Now he takes control?_

Lexa hangs her head. "I'm sorry."

She grips her shirt so tight that her knuckles turn white. I can see she's holding tears back. Stepping forward, I hug her. I have to stand on my toes to bury my face in her neck. After a few seconds Lexa's arms wrap around me.

When a few minutes pass I speak up, "you smell of blood."

I sit in a chair waiting for the nurse to clean Lexa up.

"Why is that one of you are always covered in blood?", Maddie asks.

I look at the nurse. "Coincidence?"

"I don't want to see you guys back here again", she excuses us from her office.

I look at the time. "We missed the plane."

When I look at Lexa I see regret in her eyes.

"But it's no big deal."

Lexa shrugs.

"Do you have a car? We'll have to drive."

Lexa shrugs again.

_This is gonna be a long day._

********

"What are you doing for break?", I walk up to Raven.

"Nothing."

"Great, do you wanna come on the cruise with me?"

Raven looks at me. Her eyes wide. "Really?"

"I need a friend."

She leaps up and hugs me. "Thank you."

********

The wind from the open roof car blows my hair. I bring my feet up and rest them on the dashboard.

"We have a 40 hour drive together, might as well talk", I look at Lexa.

She checks her GPS but doesn't say anything.

"Or not", I bring a hat over my head and close my eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

November 19th, 2051

"Hey", someone flicks my forehead. "Clarke, wake up."

When I open my eyes I see we're at a gas station. "What time is it?"

"It's 2 in the morning."

"How much longer?"

"30 hours."

"Are we gonna stop somewhere?"

"We're currently at a gas station so you can stock up on snacks and use the bathroom", Lexa motions to the gas station covered in lights. "We can go to a nearby hotel or sleep under the stars."

"Under the stars?", I get out of the car.

"We would sleep in the car."

Stretching I look at Lexa. "Isn't that uncomfortable?"

"Nope", Lexa gets out of the car.

_People might think we're homeless._

"Now go stock up."

The car music lightly plays in the background as I look up at the night sky. Lexa lies by me, her back to me as she sleeps. Sighing I roll over so my back is to her. I can't help but smile as a laugh escapes from me.

"What's so funny?"

I look at Lexa. "You're awake?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Well... I guess it's funny that instead of being on a plane we're sleeping in a car."

Lexa rolls over. "Are you cold?"

"Sorta", I turn and face her. "But nothing I can't handle."

"May I?", Lexa scoots closer.

I look at her trying to tell what she means. "I guess."

Lexa's arms wrap around me, pulling me close to her. As soon as I'm close to her, warmth seems to wrap around me causing me to snuggle closer to her.

"To be honest..." my eyes travel down Lexa's body. Her shirt is hitched up a bit revealing her stomach. She has a well defined stomach.

_Does she work out? Maybe all the fights keep her fit?_

Looking further down her body I see Lexa wearing shorts that are halfway to her knee. Looking closer I notice it's underwear.

_So that's the type of underwear she wears._

Looking back up I'm met with her cleavage.

_I didn't think she had breasts. I always thought she was flat chested... wait_

I look down at my breasts.

_She has more breast that I do? Somet-_

"To be honest?", Lexa snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Oh... uh... to be honest I'm happy we're not on a plane."

"Why's that?"

"I get to sleep under the stars with you", I look up at Lexa.

Her ears are red. Smiling I lean forward and kiss her nose. Lexa looks at me, something shines from her eyes as she does.

"You're not that bad", I smile at her. "I'm glad we're friends", I nuzzle into her and close my eyes.

Lexa doesn't respond to what I say, but I do notice she pushes her nose into my hair and takes a deep breath of the smell.

_Things still haven't changed._

********

November 21st, 2051

Glancing over I see Clarke fiddling with the radio.

"Does the radio really matter?"

"Yes", Clarke glances at me.

"We're gonna be there in a few minutes."

"So?"

I pull into the gates. "We're here."

"You said a few minutes."

"I lied", I park the car and get out.

"We have to get on a plane for the ride home."

"I kinda liked driving", I wait for Clarke to get out of the car.

"So did I... but I also like champagne and first class."

I look at the front door of my parent's house. I can hear kids screaming from inside.

"Ready?", I look at Clarke.

"Sure."

We both walk into the house and almost run into a kid. The kid stops walking and looks at me.

"Aunt Lexa!"

At the sound of my name, the whole house goes quiet. Mom walks out from behind a wall and looks at me.

"You actually came."

"Jasmine wanted me to."

"Didn't think you actually would", mom's eyes wonder over to Clarke. A wide smile spreads across her face. "If it isn't Clarke."

She walks over and hugs Clarke. Clarke glances at me before hugging mom back.

********

I can hear Lexa arguing with her mom in the kitchen as I play with kids in the living room. The kids seem to like me. One kid won't let go of my arm.

"You're such a disappointment!"

I look over my shoulder and at the kitchen.

"Sorry about them", Jasmine stands up.

I look at Lexa's younger sister.

"Mom has always been... hard on Lexa."

"Why?"

"She expects more out of her. I mean I already have 3 children and Lexa only dated one person", Jasmine takes the kid off my arm. "Also, mom doesn't approve of her being lesbian."

_Me coming didn't help._

"Our family believes that Lexa is the only good blooded kid so her marrying another woman makes her not able to have kids", Jasmine sits back down. "Therefore meaning she can't pass on the blood and all that shit."

Lexa walks into the living room. She puts a hand on my head like it's for comfort. A man with blood red hair walks into the room. He's holding another red head's hand. A little girl stands in front of them.

"Well I never", the woman says. She walks over to Lexa. "If it isn't Lexa Woods."

_I don't like the smile on her face._

"And you're heading after blondes now", the woman glances at me. Her smile grows a bit.

"She's a friend", Lexa growls at the woman. "What do you want Costia?"

"I'm here for the reunion."

I look at the man then the little girl.

"You had a kid with Red?"

"He loves me and I love him", Costia smiles. "We're family now."

I stand up. "You guys don't seem to like each other."

"Wait", Costia looks at me. "She hasn't told you?"

"Told me?"

"I'm Lexa's ex."

"I'm Clarke, Lexa's...", I glance at Lexa. "Friend."

"Well I'm Red", the man steps forward.

I stand up and unconsciously step back. Reaching over I grab Lexa's hand. Lexa looks at me. I squeeze her hand and reach over with my other hand to grab onto her shirt.

Lexa looks at Red, "obviously she doesn't like you."

"Clarke", a woman says.

I turn around to see Jessica.

"You must be tired after a long drive", she smiles at me. "Why don't you go get showered? I'll have someone bring your belongings to a room."

I nod desperate to get away from Red. I tug on Lexa's hand.

"I'll be there in a second, go on without me."

I nod and let go of her hand. I head upstairs, more of run.

********

After a very long conversation with my parents, I head upstairs to my old room. When I walk in I see Clarke sleeping on the bed. I walk over to her and sit on the edge of the bed. Smiling I whisper, "she's out, long out."

Clarke mumbles in her sleep before rolling over. I reach out and run a finger up then down Clarke's arm.

"I'm sorry", my hand runs off her arm and to her side. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

********

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

_Dammit! Why did I have to hear that? Curse me and my eavesdropping addiction!_


	22. Chapter 22

_This_ = someone's thoguhts

******** = pov (point of view) change

November 23rd, 2051

_What the hell is wrong with this family? They're arguing one moment, laughing the next, then back to arguing._

"Hey", Lexa flicks my forehead. "You ok?"

I shrug.

"What's wrong?"

"Guess I'm overwhelmed."

"Let me guess", she sits by me. "You have questions."

I nod.

"Well, ask away."

"Ok, what the hell is up with your brother fucking your ex?"

"I don't know... apparently he didn't know Costia was my ex. But I could always see he had some kind of attraction towards her, I guess his sex drive got the best of him."

"Can't he leave her?"

"They have a child together", Lexa looks at me. "He would leave if they didn't have a child. To him, divorcing would scar the child beyond repair."

"Ok so... what's up with the blood?"

I hear something shatter in the kitchen. Some kids start laughing as Jasmine starts yelling.

"It's my mom, she has this weird belief about blood."

"Which is?"

"She didn't have the best parents. They would spoil her big brother but not her. They said her brother was the perfect one. Something about his blood being sent from the heavens. I swear they were on drugs", Lexa looks away. "So when my mom married my dad, the first thing she did was have a child... I think that's why the relationship failed. Because he wasn't ready", she smiles at the thoughts. "Anyways, before me she had 2 miscarriages. So she thought that I was a gift. Which is nice but she thought I was the gift. Her parents messed her up and now she wants me to pass on my genes so eventually we'll have a god like baby in the family."

"She's crazy."

"Yep."

"Is that why she wants you to be straight?"

"Yeah, I told her Jasmine has 3 kids and she said I have to have the kid. This is the only thing my siblings are jealous about when it comes to me."

"Why does everyone seem to hate you?"

"I'm the only one who isn't straight. I also refuse to have a baby", Lexa's smile fades away. "I don't think I would be a great mom because of how I was raised... I also dislike children."

"Why did you drag me to your messed up family?"

"You didn't object."

"Doesn't mean I wanted to come."

Lexa shrugs. "I'm glad you did though."

_I hope Raven is having more fun._

********

"Luna", I struggle to get out of her arms. "I have to get up."

"No", Luna holds me tighter.

"As much as I would like to stay and cuddle, I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's almost breakfast."

Luna lets me go. She looks up at me. "What's today?"

"The 23rd."

"Then we can cuddle for 5 more days", she drags me back onto the bed.

********

I stand up and head to Lexa's room. The room is covered in clothes. Digging through the clothes I find my phone. I sit on the bed and call Raven.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Why are you calling and what's wrong?"

"I just needed someone to talk to."

"Where's Lexa?"

"Dealing with her family."

"Oh yeah, speaking of which how are they?"

"They're bat shit crazy."

Raven laughs into the phone. "How so?"

"They think Lexa has god like blood, they're always fighting, Jessica should be in some insane asylum, the younger brother fucked an ex. I want nothing to do with this family."

"That's harsh, I'm sure you're family has it's flaws."

"They do but we're not some fucked up cult", I take a deep breath. "To be honest, if I were a kid, I would be scared to death. I wouldn't want to bring a kid into this family."

"When are you leaving?"

"The night of Thanksgiving."

"Well good luck."

"I need it", I hang up and toss my phone to the side.

"Clarke! Breakfast is ready!", Jessica calls from downstairs.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry!"

There's no response. In fact the whole house goes quiet. The quiet sends chills up me.

_I have to get out of here._

Looking out the window, I look at my house. "I wish my parents were home."

I head downstairs with my shoes on and my phone on me.

"Going somewhere?", Lexa leans back in her chair.

"I was gonna take a walk."

All the kids start screaming in excitement. "I wanna come! I wanna come!"

"We all could go", Jessica has a big smile on her face.

"Guys, I think Clarke needs to be alone."

"Don't be crazy", Jessica flashes a glare at her daughter.

Lexa stands up. "We'll be back in no time", she drags me out of the house.

"Using me as an excuse to get away from your family?"

"I'm going crazy."

"Can't blame you."

Lexa looks at me. Her eyes seem far away. It's like she's not actually walking with me. Like she's somewhere else.

"I have something that can help", she stops walking.

"Are we leaving?"

"Something like that", Lexa walks over to a bench and takes a seat.

"Then what are we doing?"

"We have a 40 hour drive, why not leave early?"

"Are you serious?"

"You're slowly going insane, I shouldn't have dragged you out here."

"You didn't want to go insane alone."

Lexa laughs, shaking her head as she does. "We'll leave at midnight."

When midnight finally rolls around I'm shaking with excitement.

"Stop shaking", Lexa whispers by my ear.

"Sorry", I follow her downstairs. When we do get downstairs, a lamp switches on. Jasmine sits in a chair with a cup.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Sorry, we have to go", Lexa steps in front of me.

"You always do this, you always leave a few days early."

"I have my reasons."

"Maybe this is why mom liked me better as a daughter", Jasmine stands up. "Because I wouldn't get up and leave."

"Glad she has a replacement", Lexa opens the door and nudges me outside.

I stand outside. Now I'm shaking from the cold. I can hear them yelling. As they yell other lights in the house turn on. One of them happens to be Jessica's. I look around. Some neighbor lights are going on. I walk into the house. When do some people look at me. Lexa yells at her parents. Now that I look closer, I can see some similar things with them.

"But I'm not straight!", Lexa screams at her mom. "This whole blood thing is some fantasy in your mind! You put the pressure on me because you failed your mom!"

Those words seem to hit Jessica in the right place.

"All my life I was told I was some mistake! I was never good enough, that you loved the others more than me!", Lexa looks at her mom. "You treat me like your mom did you and you expect me to come out perfect, better."

Jessica stares at her daughter.

"But I'm not, I'm Lexa Woods. The oldest of a family of five. The only brunette of the kids, the one who has so many bends in her sexuality that people lost count."

As Lexa says those things she seems to be realizing the facts herself.

"I love you mom but I can't do what you want me to do."

Jessica's shock turns to anger. Lexa seems to notice so she heads in my direction. "Shall we?"

"Leave and you're no longer part of the family."

Lexa smiles. "When was I ever?"

November 25th, 2051

"Halfway there", Lexa smiles at me from the driver's seat.

"Yay", I sleepily mumble.

"But we should stop, it's 2 in the morning."

I roll over in the seat.

"Hey, come on", Lexa lightly shakes me.

Sitting up I notice her laying a blanket on the ground. "What's that?"

"We're sleeping on the floor, you're gonna have a bad back if you continue sleeping in the chair."

I get on the blanket and almost pass out immediately.

"No, no scoot over."

I scoot over with my eyes still closed. Lexa lays down by me.

"How did we get here?", I open my eyes.

"Life", Lexa stares at me. Her eyes going up then down my body.

_I forgot she said something about loving me. What did Raven say about love?_

'kiss her and you might know your feelings'... _What kind of advice is that?_

"You're staring", Lexa smiles at me.

"I know", I lean forward.

My lips gently press against Lexa's. When I lean back Lexa's eyes are a darker color. Without warning, she smashes her lips against mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, I just wanted to get away from the family. They were actually making me mad. But I'm happy with the ending so...


	23. Chapter 23

  
Chapter 24: Feelings?

 _This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

December 4th, 2051

"So", Raven walks over to me. "How was your break?"

"It was..." unwanted memories come back. "Full of events."

"Did you have fun with Lexa?"

"No!", I stand up, my face burning red.

"Chill", Raven steps back. "I was just asking in case you guys swam or played a game."

"Oh...", I sit back down. "Sorry."

"But obviously you did something you don't wanna tell me."

"Pfft, don't be ridiculous."

"Morning", Lexa waves at me.

I don't wave back. I haven't been able to talk or look at her without my face turning 50 shades of red. I put my head on the desk and stare at my hands.

"You feeling ok?", Lexa gently touches my back.

I stand up so fast the chair falls back. "Don't!"

Everyone in the class looks at me.

"Mrs. Griffin, please quiet down", Mrs. George says.

"Sorry", I glance at Lexa. She stands in shock a few feet away.

"What the hell was that!", Raven walks by me.

I shrug and walk into the cafeteria.

"How could you not know?"

"I just reacted."

"You can't just react, something must've happened."

"Listen, I don't know", I speed up and walk ahead of Raven.

December 11th, 2051

"Clarke learned how crazy my family is", Lexa flashes a smile at me. "We had to leave early."

"You guys actually drove 40 hours?"

Lexa laughs and nods. "Slept on the floor or in the car."

"Ugh, why the floor?", Raven winces at the thought of sleeping on dirt.

"The stars", Lexa's eyes seem to go back to the nights spent under the stars. Then her eyes darken. "And the moments spent under them."

_Seriously? Is she trying to hint at something? To me, that night was a mistake._

"I-I'm sorry", I stand up. "Please excuse me."

*********

"I-I'm sorry", Clarke stands up. "Please excuse me", she walks away.

The four us watch her walk away.

"What the hell did you do to blondie?!", Octavia glares at me.

"I don't know."

"What happened during that trip?", Raven asks with a mouth full of smashes potatoes.

I don't respond to her. My mind just thinks about Clarke.

_She's been so distant._

During P.E I walk over to the blonde. She sits on the floor hugging her knees.

"Can I sit?"

The blonde doesn't respond.

I sit by her. "What's up with you?"

"That night was a mistake."

"I don't understand."

Clarke looks at me and yells, "the night I had se-"

I quickly cover her mouth but it's too late. Everyone in the gym is dead silent. A basketball rolls across the gym. All eyes are on us.

"Are you an idiot?", I hiss under my breath.

Clarke rips my hand off. "I'm been asking myself that since that night", she stands and walks away.

_Don't leave me in this awkward situation!_

********

"So that's why you're like this", Raven sits on the bench by me.

"You heard."

"Everyone in the whole school knows now, you did yell it during P.E in the gym which echoes."

"I'm an idiot", I bury my head in my knees.

Raven doesn't respond. She wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"What am I gonna do?"

"Well, obviously you feel something for Lexa."

"Why's that obvious?"

"You had sex with her."

"I did to see if I felt something", I look at Raven. "And I didn't."

Raven smiles, "obviously you're not attracted to females, so stop chasing one."

"I don't know what I'm attracted to."

"Then date a man, have sex with a man."

"And give my virginity away for it? No way!"

"Did Lexa put a finger or two in you?"

I nod.

"Was there blood, did you feel something tear, or feel any pain?"

"A little."

"Then you've already lost your virginity, so nothing to worry about."

_Great, that makes everything better. Not!_

"Listen, there's this guy, Flynn, and rumor has it he likes you", Raven smiles. "Why not hit it up with him and see how you feel?"

"I can't lead two people on."

"He's a man, he'll rebound."

I look at a tree that's losing its leaves.

"Once you know how you feel then you can choose."

 _Sounds ok_. "How are things with you and Luna?"

"Oh we're a thing."

"At least someone's life is going well."

Raven laughs and squeezes my shoulder. "Everything will go up from now on."

"How are you so sure?"

"I have a feeling", Raven chuckles.

_Did I ask the right person?_


	24. Chapter 24

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

December 12th, 2051

"Flynn, Clarke. Clarke, Flynn", Raven introduces us in the most lazy way.

"Nice to meet you", Flynn's ears are red.

_It's not as cute as Lexa._

I smile at him which causes his face to go red. The rest of the football starts laughing at him.

"Flynn has a girlfriend!", they chant over and over again.

_Annoying._

"You coming to the football game?"

"I'll consider it."

"You should watch me play", he flexes his 'muscles'. "I'm the star player."

_And full of yourself._

Sighing I nod. I glance at Raven. She's flirting with a cheerleader.

_Isn't she with Luna?_

"And who knows", Flynn catches me off guard with how close he is. "You might get a piece of me", he winks at me.

Disgust runs through my whole body. _Asshole._

"Y-yeah", I step back. "Raven, we're leaving."

Raven nods and follows me to the front of the dorms.

"Well?"

"I hate him, he's full of himself."

"You're just in it for the sex."

"What, no."

"Yes", Raven smiles at me. "We're trying to figure out if you're straight or not."

_Great, never be friends with a sex addict._

December 14th, 2051

********

"You're crushing your milk", Luna looks at me.

I drop the milk, my hand is covered in the white stuff (-_-).

"Who are you glaring at?"

"Them", I growl.

Luna looks at Clarke and Flynn. "They're cute."

Without thinking I slam her head in the mashed potatoes. I stand up and start walking away. When I walk by Flynn, I knock his milk onto his lap.

"Hey!", he stands up.

I look over my shoulder. "Whoops."

********

I watch Flynn angrily shout at Lexa. Lexa just smirks at him. Her eyes land on me. When they do she winks at me. I feel my face heat up causing me to look away.

_No! You're trying to forget her Griffin. Forget!_

When I look back at Lexa, she's gone. So is Flynn.

"This can't be good", one of the football players say.

Flynn comes back.

"What did you do?", I ask when he sits down.

"We just talked", he smiles at me

I stand up and head outside. I find Lexa sitting under a tree. "You ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

I shrug and sit by her.

"Why are you associating with someone like him?"

"I honestly don't know."

Lexa nods and looks at a tree. "Just don't get hurt."

"I won't."

_Why does she care so much?_

December 15th, 2051

"Clarke", Lexa peeks into my room.

"Oh my god! Knock!", I throw a shoe at her.

Lexa quickly covers her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Ugh, what do you want?"

"I was hoping we could talk, hang out."

"Sorry but no."

"Why not?"

"Plans", I quickly dress and walk around Lexa.

"Are you avoiding me?"

"Listen", I look at Lexa. "What happened was a mistake, it meant nothing."

Lexa doesn't say anything.

"I'm glad you let me come to a fucked up reunion but we're just friends", I put on my shoes. "Nothing more, nothing less."

Lexa looks heartbroken. I grab my phone and keys and leave the apartment. Once I'm out, I let the act fall. I lean against the door.

_You did the right thing, she needed to hear that... even if it's a lie._


	25. Chapter 25

_This_ = someone's thoughts

********* = pov (point of view) change

"Ready?", Raven walks over to me.

"Sure."

_I really don't want to cheer on the douchebag._

I follow Raven to a seat in the stands. Football isn't a sport I find interesting so I spend most of the game on my phone.

"This is for Clarke Griffin!"

I look up from my phone. Some eyes are on me. When I look at the field, Flynn has a microphone. He catches my gaze.

"This is for you sweetie", he blows me a kiss.

I feel breakfast coming up. I quickly pull my hoodie over my face and look back at my phone.

_So embarassing._

When the game ends I follow Raven down to the field. Flynn runs up to me.

"Well?"

_What the hell does he want?_

I try to keep disgust off my face.

_He smells._

When I look back at him he's closer. His eyes are closed and he's leaning in. As I look at him, one person comes into my mind.

'I love you', the three words that came from Lexa hit me in the stomach. Remembering the words causes a feeling. Like I'm falling, falling into something I can't escape.

_But do I want to?_

When I close my eyes I see Lexa. Her green eyes peircing into my soul. They hold sadness and another emotion. One I've always had trouble recognizing. Love. They shine with love. Her hands extend to reveal a heart.

_She's always given me her heart like it's natural. Second nature. And what have I done?_

My eyes fly open. One word bounces around my head.

 _Lexa, Lexa, Lexa, Lexa_ _._

"Lexa", I turn and run.

"Clarke!", Raven yells.

I ignore her and keep running. While running I call Lexa. She doesn't answer.

_Where is she?_

I stop running and look around. "Don't do this to me, please."

Something wet drops on my head. After one drop comes multiple. It starts pouring. My hair sticks to my neck.

There's a crash then a voice, "where'd your spirit go?"

_I know that voice._

I silently walk towards a shed. The door is open a crack. When I peek in, Costia stands by a table. She has someone corned.

"Go away Costia", Lexa steps away from Costia.

"You look heartbroken", Costia smiles. She tilts Lexa's chin up.

"Fuck off", Lexa growls at Costia.

"Hush, let me cheer you up."

My eyes widen when Costia kisses Lexa. I gasp when Costia opens one eye and looks directly at me. A stupid smirk on her face. Lexa pulls back and looks at the entrance.

"Clarke!"

I turn so fast that I almost fall. I run as fast as I can go. I run into the dorms, pushing past people. I run up the stairs and to my dorm room. Once I'm in I head straight to my room and lock the door. I lean against the door. When I wipe my face I feel tears. Tears I wasn't aware I was shedding.

_Stop, you of all people don't have a right to cry. You got what you deserved._

Shaking my head I head to the bathroom. There's a pounding on my room door.

"Clarke, Clarke."

I ignore Lexa and take a shower. When I walk out of the bathroom, she stands in my room.

*********

(I don't know how long ago but before Clarke found Lexa with Costia ago)

"Why are you sulking?"

I freeze at the sound of Costia's voice. "What do you want?"

"Just to talk."

"You never want to just talk."

"You've always known me", Costia steps in front of me.

"Please leave me alone."

"Did the blonde break your heart?", Costia puts a finger on my chest.

"Do you care?"

"Well I gotta know if I don't have competition."

I glare at the red head, she leans forward and kisses me. When she pulls back she looks disappointed. "Where'd your spirit go?"

"Go away Costia", I step back.

"You look heartbroken."

"Fuck off."

"Hush, let me cheer you up", Costia kisses me again. Though this time I hear a gasp. I open my eyes to see Clarke.

_Dammit!_

Clarke turns and runs.

"Clarke!", instinctively I run after the blonde. I have to push Costia aside who lands on her butt.

_She's fast._

I get stopped in a crowd of people. They're all leaving the football field.

"Move! Move!", I push people aside.

"Watch it", Flynn steps in my way.

Kneeing him in the balls I growl, "move".

Once I make it past the crowd I look around for Clarke. Nothing. I run towards the dorm with hope. My hope is comes in luck when I hear a loud thud. I run to the dorm room. Clarke's door is the only closed door.

_Here goes nothing._

I knock on the door, "Clarke, Clarke".

There's no response but the shower does turn on. Grabbing a key I unlock the door. I wait in the room for Clarke. When she does walk out, she's in a robe. A pink fuzzy one.

_Suits her._

Out of nowhere Clarke starts crying. I quickly go over and hug her.

"I'm sorry", Clarke cries into my chest. "I'm so sorry."

I can feel her shaking as she apologizes. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

Clarke looks up at me. Seeing her cry shatters my heart into a million pieces. "I shouldn't be the one crying, I've been nothing but a bad friend."

"Hey", I wipe a tear. "You're a great friend. You always have been."

"I've done nothing but break you."

"You've set a challenge."

Clarke rests her head back on my chest. "How can you still love me?"

"What?"

"Thanksgiving", Clarke grabs onto my shirt. "You said you still loved me."

"You heard."

"Obviously."

Laughing I kiss the top of her head. "I've always loved you. Ever since I met you."

"I... I uh... I", Clarke looks up at me.

"I know, you might not know and I don't mind", I bring the blonde closer. "Just as long as you be yourself."

Clarke starts crying again.

"Did I say something?", I look at her in worry.

"I don't know why I'm crying."

"How about we watch some sappy show while eating ice cream?"

Clarke nods.

"You'd like that?"

She nods again.

"Good", I lead her to the living room. "But we're not watching Twilight."

Clarke looks at me with her puppy eyes. I grab a tub of ice cream and two spoons.

"Fine, one movie", I sit by the blonde and open the tub.

Clarke smiles and cuddles into me. A spoon hangs from her mouth. At that moment I feel like everything is perfect.

_But what does all this mean?_


	26. Chapter 26

_This_ = someone's thoguhts

******** = pov (point of view) change

December 16th, 2051

********

Groaning I sit up. When I look around I see a box of tissues, a melted tub of ice cream, two spoons on the floor, and Lexa lying on the other side of the couch. I look at the tv. The credits for Twilight are playing. I turn it off and stand up.

_My phone, where's my phone?_

I search the whole dorm for my phone but don't find it. "What did I do with it?"

I think back to yesterday. I was running.

_Don't tell me-_

I quickly put my shoes on.

"Where are you going?"

I turn to see Lexa. She's rubbing one eye as she looks at me.

"I have to find my phone."

She nods and heads to the kitchen. I leave the dorm and run to the entrance. I retrace my steps in hopes of finding my phone. After 30 minutes of searching, I give up. "Great, leave it to me."

"You looking for something?", a cold, chilling voice asks.

_Costia._

"What's it to you?"

"Hey, I was just asking", Costia walks over to me. "No reason to be sassy", she holds out my phone.

I try to snatch it but she pulls it back.

"Not so fast."

"What do you want?"

"Just teasing", she hands my phone to me.

_That was weird._

"I know it's not my place but", Costia looks at me. "If you do find a happy ending with Lexa then... good luck. I wish you two happiness."

I nod and start walking.

"Also", Costia grabs my arm. "Tell her I'm sorry", she lets go.

_I'm no dam messenger!_

I nod and head to the dorm. Lexa greets me at the door.

"It's Christmas break, what do you want to do?"

"What makes you think I don't have plans?"

"I just assumed."

"It's wrong to assume, it makes an ass out of you and me."

Lexa frowns. "That's not funny."

Laughing I walk around her. "I don't care what we do."

"There's a we?"

"That how you refer to two people. We, them... um... I don't know anymore."

"I wasn't asking that."

_Oh..._

"I don't know", I look at Lexa. "Give me time to figure it out."

She nods. "We should go somewhere snowy."

The door swings open.

"Pack your bags bitches!", Octavia walks in.

_Who gave her a key?_

Raven and Luna follow. "We're going skiing."

"I can't ski", I look at Raven.

"Always fun to learn", Lexa ruffles my hair before heading to her room.

_Great, I rather spend the break with Lexa._


	27. Chapter 27

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

December 18th, 2051

"So where are we skiing?", I sit on all the suitcases stacked up.

"Canada", Raven turns off the living room light.

"Canada? Why do we have to drive to Canada?"

Octavia laughs and shakes her head. "I know you might like long drives but I wanna be alive when I show up, so we're all taking a plane."

"And we're not sleeping on the ground", Raven adds.

Rolling my eyes I get off the suitcases. "How long is the flight?"

"The thing said 6 hours."

Lexa laughs by me. "Better than 40."

I nod suddenly feeling awkward.

_I still have to give her an answer. She's been waiting for almost 2 days now._

Shaking my head I follow everyone out.

_Let's pray for the best._

********

I search for my seat with Luna. I know she's hoping to sit by me. She's always been clingy like that.

"Would you look at that?", Luna smiles at me.

It's a sad smile that she's trying to make happy.

"You and the blonde are sitting by each other."

"So?", I sit down in my seat. I'm not by the window.

"Now you guys can kiss and all that", Luna chuckles to hide her sadness.

_She still has Raven._

"We're not dating, just friends."

"You act like a married couple going through therapy."

"Go find your seat", I playfully glare at Luna.

Luna flicks my forehead before walking off.

_This is gonna be an interesting 6 hour flight._


	28. Chapter 28

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

I search through my bag for my pillow. Clarke stands by me, she's looking over the back of Raven's chair.

"You're keeping some of my snacks", Clarke accuses her friend.

"Am not", Raven responds.

"Then give me the bag."

"No."

"Why? You got something to hide?"

"I always do but you're gonna take my snacks."

"You're snacks suck!", Clarke almost snaps at her friend. "Just give me my snacks."

Smiling I continue searching through my bag.

_I guess the closest of friends argue every now and then._

Realization hits me.

_Luna and I rarely argue... are we really that close?_

"I want my hi-chews!"

I look at the blonde.

"That's not fair Raven, give me them."

Raven only laughs. She doesn't bother responding. Looking away, I look trough my bag and pull out hi-chews.

"We could share", I offer Clarke the bag.

She eyes it before nodding. "Thank you."

"No problem."

It's a quiet ride for about 4 hours. That's when I can't stand the silence anymore.

"Have you been to Canada before?"

It takes Clarke a second or two to realize I'm talking to her.

"No, you?"

"I have, my dad lived there."

"Right, your family", Clarke nods. "Have you spoken to them since... you know."

"My mom called, she wants to start over."

"And?"

"I don't know", I look at the blonde. "A part of me knows I should let everything go, forgive her but I can't. I really can't."

"Do what you feel is best, just don't let it haunt you."

"It all makes no sense."

"Life doesn't make sense, that's the joy of it", Clarke smiles at me.

I feel my heart overflood with that feeling again. The feeling I can't shake. The feeling I don't wanna shake. Looking away I close my eyes. When I do I see Clarke. The image slowly changes to Clarke and I. I think about what can happen and what I hope will happen. I hope this woman by me will become my lover. My wife, my everything. Shaking my head I open my eyes. The image seems to shatter before my eyes.

_She's still a teenager, still in college, don't aim so high._

"You ok?"

I nod, "peachy".

********

(Ok, this is random but a part of me wishes they went to Japan. Like that would've been way better. More romantic (to me at least), dammit, why didn't I make them go to Japan? >:|)

As soon as we step out of the airport, a cold gush of wind hits me. I feel myself shiver.

"It's snowing!", Raven runs past me. She jumps into the snow.

_We don't see much snow, it's rare._

"We should get to the resort before we die of frost bite", Lexa walks forward and stops by me. "A hot shower sounds soooo nice."

I look at her.

"Steam filling the room, candles, lots and lots of candles."

"Do you have a candle fetish?"

Lexa looks at me. "I like the smell."

"Well pushing aside your fetish, let's get to the resort so you're fantasy can come true", Luna pushes in between us.

Once we hit the resort I feel myself melt at the warmth. My body is quick to heat up to average body temperature.

"So what are the room arrangements?"

"Well", Raven walks over to us. "Since I'm dating Luna I'm with her. Um... I don't know if you two care but I put Lexa and Clarke together. Octavia has no one so if one of you rather sleep with her then feel free."

"Don't actually", Octavia adds with a teasing smile.

Her smile quickly drops as her eyes widen. I follow her gaze to some man. He's working behind the counters.

"Who is that?"

"Some man", I look at him with some form of disgust.

Lexa smiles. "That's Lincoln Burrow, a childhood friend", she glances at me. "Let's say hi."

I don't get to respond as she takes my hand and leads me over to the counter. The others follow.

"Well if it isn't Alexandria", Lincoln smiles at Lexa. Then at me. "Is this your new girlfriend?"

"No!", I blurt out. "W-we're not... ju-just...", I look at Lexa for help.

Lexa eyes me. I see a tad bit of hurt in her eyes as she does. She looks away and back at Lincoln, "friends, we're just friends."

Lincoln glances at our hands. "You two seem like friends."

I look at our hands. I notice that I'm holding her hand back. Our fingers entwined. "Uh..."

Lexa shrugs, "my friend wanted to meet you." She pushes Octavia forward.

Octavia's face heats up.

"Let's leave them and head to the room", I know Raven is talking to Luna.

"You guys gonna have sex?", Lexa smirks at them.

Luna laughs and drags Raven away. I look at Lexa. "What do we do?"

Lexa thinks for a second before responding, "I'm gonna get in a bath, I don't know about you."

When I look into her eyes I see she's offering more than she's saying.

Smirking I lean forward, "can we do something together?"


	29. Chapter 29

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

I have to brace myself on the wall as I'm flipped around. A shiver rolls down my spine when Lexa starts kissing down it. The water falls all around us. Neither of us caring about our wet clothes. When I look over my shoulder, I meet eyes with Lexa. Smirking she gets on her knees.

********

"Luna?", I look up at the blue haired woman.

Her eyes stare at something far away. Her hands remain frozen on my skin. I watch a tear slowly rolls down her cheek.

"Hey", I have to back up in order to sit up. "What's wrong?"

Luna doesn't respond, her eyes still looking at the far away object. After a few seconds a sob escapes her mouth then one word. "Lexa."

_Seriously?_

I feel anger run through me.

_Does she ever stop thinking about the brunette! Especially in the middle of sex?!_

Pushing her away I quickly get off the bed. That seems to snap Luna back to reality.

"Raven?", she looks at me.

I ignore her as I start dressing.

Luna gets off the bed and walks over to me. I have to pull my hand away when she reaches for it. Hurt immediately shows up in her eyes.

"Don't touch me", I put my hair up in a ponytail. "I don't know what has you thinking about Lexa but you need to get your shit together! I ignored it when you said Lexa's name during sex but this", I motion between us. "Isn't gonna work out if you love another woman!"

********

"We-"

My phone goes off interrupting Lincoln. "I'm sorry, one minute", I step away from him to answer the call. "This better be good Reyes."

"It is, we're going skiing."

"I can't", I glance at Lincoln. "I'm busy."

There's a few seconds of silence before Raven speaks up again. "Octavia, please."

Sadness rings in her voice. "Ok, I'm coming", I hang up and look at Lincoln. "It was nice meeting you but I have to go", I leave before he can respond.

********

"A penny for your thoughts", Lexa sits on the edge of the bed.

I roll over so I'm on my stomach. The bottom of my robe fans out revealing more than I'd like. "Do you have a penny?", I force a smile on my face.

Lexa frowns. "What's wrong? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No", I immeditaely shake my head.

"Then what has you so down?"

"I can't help but feel like a monster", I cross my arms on the bed before burying my head in the bend of my arm. "I can't even give you an answer, but here I am having sex with you."

"What's wrong with that?"

I look at Lexa. "You're giving me your heart and I'm taking it for granted."

"I don't see it that way", Lexa mumbles.

I sit up and on my knees. "I feel horrible", I pout at Lexa.

Smiling she opens her arms. "C'mere hodnes."

Crawling over to her I let her wrap her arms around me. My head comfortably rests on her robe covered chest. It's quiet for a good 10 minutes before my phone goes off. I make a move to reach for it but Lexa prevents me from doing so. Instead she presses the red phone button.

"Who was it?", I look up at her.

"No one important", she kisses the top of my head.

Another few seconds pass before curiousity takes over. "What's a hodnes?"

Lexa smiles down at me. Her eyes seems to go dark again. "You have to do something for me to answer that."

Before I have the chance to answer her lips are on mine.

********

"Where the hell did those two go?", I wait in the lobby of the resort.

"Lexa said she needed a bath, she could still be in there", Luna mumbles.

I don't respond to her as I try another call. Clarke hangs up immediately.

_What the hell?_

"Let's go to their room", Octavia suggests.

Nodding I lead the three of us to their room. When I knock there's no answer so I head in. The main room is empty. I start opening doors. Someone screams down the hall. I run to the person.

"What's wrong?"

"I... found them", Octavia's eyes are wide.

Peeking around her I see Clarke and Lexa frozen on a bed. Too much of them is revealed. I know I should look away but I can't. Lexa is the first to break the staring. She covers Clarke before yelling.

"Get out!", she throws what I think is a phone.

Reaching out Luna closes the door before the phone can hit any of us. When I look at her, her eyes are yelling three emotions:

Betrayed

Sadness

Anger

_Why do I have a feeling this isn't gonna be a normal trip?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I"M sorry for the sudden pov changes, I don't know what was going on in my head. It's like this is happening with this couple but at the samet ime this is happening, oh and don't forget about these people. Sorry if it was confusing. I think I should start putting who's pov it is...


	30. Chapter 30

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

Lexa holds me close to her. My face pushed into ther chest. It's not that I don't mind being squished between breasts but... I can't breathe.

"Your fucking friends", Lexa's grip tightens on me.

My heart warms at her protectiveness. I try to close my legs but Lexa's knee prevents me from doing so. I manage to push back and scoot away.

"You ok?", Lexa tightens the blanket around me.

I nod. "We had it coming, we ignored the call."

Lexa shrugs and get out of bed. "Get dressed, we'll head down to the lobby."

I try to listen to the rules of skiing and snowboarding. Lexa seems to know them already. When they're done explaining Lexa leads us to an empty part of the hill. No one is using it.

"I pulled a few strings to get us our own area", she smiles at me.

"Thanks but I still don't know how to ski better yet snowboard."

Lexa smiles. "Don't worry about that."

_What kind of advice is that!_

Luna starts talking to Lexa. I head over to Raven, more of hop. "Do you know what you're doing?"

Raven shrugs. "I'll watch you."

"I don't know what I'm doing."

"You'll figure it out", with that she shoves me.

I stumble back. I feel the board sliding. "Raven!", I scream as my board shoots down the hill. Air blows on my back I slide down the hill backwards. A weird feeling comes from my stomach. Almost like I'm on a roller coaster. I suddenly fall backwards. I bounce a few times as I roll over and over again. A bump sends me into the air. My arms flail as I shoot into the air.

"Lexa!", I scream at the top of my lungs.

Everything seems to stop for a second. My stomach seems to settle at the back of my body. A bird flies over my head snapping me back to reality. My stomach slams into the front of my body as gravity takes it pull, sending me towards the ground.

********

"Can we talk?", Luna leads me away from everyone.

"What's up?"

"Do you think after this we could do something? Just us?"

"Yeah, of course."

Luna smiles. A real smile. One that's actually happy.

"Raven!"

I turn to see Clarke heading down the hill. I walk over to Raven, "what the hell did you do?"

"I encouraged her", Raven smiles at me.

Looking back down the hill I see Clarke go flying into the air. I can hear her screaming.

"Lexa!", Clarke disappears into the snow.

Jumping onto my board I go down the hill. I make it go as fast as possible. It doesn't take long to catch up to the blonde. Looking in front of us I see another bump. I reach out and grab Clarke by the shirt. I manage to stop us just before the bump. Clarke clings onto me, her eyes wide with fear.

"I, he, we, uh...", she looks at me. Her lips smash against mine. "Thank you, thank you."

I hold onto her.

"God I love you", she kisses my cheek.

_She loves me?_

********

"Lexa's not going to be happy you sent Clarke down the hill", Luna stands by me.

I shrug and head over to Octavia.

Octavia is laughing. "Did you see her fly?"

I nod.

"She was like wee then crash", Octavia bends over laughing. "You're the best Reyes."

********

I cling onto Lexa all the way up the hill. When we get to the top she glares daggers at Raven. Raven just smiles. I can hear Lexa grinding her teeth. Without warning Lexa's fist hits Raven on the face.

"Lexa!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was gonna have Lincoln stop Lexa from hitting Raven, then I changed it to Lincoln pushing Clarke, then I got rid of Lincoln and had Raven do all of it. I like how it came out. Also, I don't know why but writing Clarke in the air with her whole stomach doing flips and all that made my stomach feel... sick. I felt like I was on a roller coaster.


	31. Chapter 31

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

"Lexa!", I'm set on my feet.

She's quick to hit Raven again. This time Raven falls back onto her butt. Lexa grabs her by the collar lifting her into the air. I hear Lexa's fist colide with Raven's face. Blood splatters onto the white snow. I watch with wide eyes. Lexa drops Raven, kneeing her in the stomach on her way down. I finally realize that I have to stop this.

I notice Lexa is going to hit again so I quickly move and stand between her and Raven. "Stop."

Lexa's eyes aren't focused on me. She's looking straight at Raven. Hunger for something shines in her eyes. When I look Raven, I see amusement.

_How is this amusing?! She's gonna get her ass beat!_

"Please", I look back at Lexa. "Don't do this."

Without another word Lexa turns and walks away. She grabs Luna by the wrist dragging her away too. Turning I face Raven. "You better have a good reason for this or I'll be the one beating you."

Raven shrugs, "your girlfriend is so easy to rile up."

I notice she's bleeding. Crouching down I start tending to her. "Just because she's easy to rile up, doesn't mean you should."

"Why? Are you scared of something?"

_How does she manage to get it exactly?_

I glance at Raven's eyes. "I may not always be able to get her to stop, she might do something really bad. When she's mad...", I think about my next words. "She sees red."

"So she's a bull?", Octavia leans against a wooden post.

"I guess", I glance at her. "She's like a bull when they say the waving flag, she has one goal... attack that flag. Defeat the flag. And make sure there's nothing left. Her surroundings no longer matter, all that matters is that the flag is gone."

"So sounds dangerous."

"She's not!", I'm quick to jump to her defence. "I... she... she's harmless."

"To you", Raven puts snow on her face. "It's like her life goal is to protect you."

I can't find a way to respond to that so I stay quiet.

********

(Lexa's pov)

"You're girlfriend is pissing me off!", I slam the cup against the table.

Luna leans back in her seat. "I'm not sure we're dating anymore."

"Now what did you do?"

"Not important", Luna's face turns a red for a few seconds. "Just drink until you're calm", she pushes a glass forward.

_She normally doesn't encourage me to drink, but what the hell._

********

(Raven's pov)

"It's almost midnight, I'm going to go find the two", I stand up.

Clarke looks at me. "Be careful, Lexa might hurt you."

"Meh", I put on my shoes. "I'll be ok", I leave the room, leaving Octavia and Clarke in the room. I walk around the resort for them. Neither of them are answering their phones. Walking by a closet I hear a whimper.

Do closets whimper?

I take a step back and peek in. When I do I see Lexa and Luna. Lexa’s backed up against a table. She’s glaring at Luna.

“You know I’m not interested in you”, Lexa tries to keep her distance from Luna.

Luna smiles, “I know.”

“Then back the hell up.”

“Hey”, Luna grabs Lexa’s chin. “I wouldn’t get so mean, your girlfriend is so easy to… manipulate. She’s already scared of what you can do, do you think she’ll be that surprised when I tell her you attacked me? You came onto me?”

Lexa growls but doesn’t say anything. She looks through the corner of her eye and straight at me. I feel myself freeze.

_What do I do? Why am I standing here when my girlfriend is… what is she doing?_

Luna pushes another bottle towards Lexa. “Have a drink, it’s easier to forget that way”, a smile spreads across her face.

With a sigh Lexa grabs the bottle. She starts drinking from it.

I quickly turn and leave. I feel the energy drained from me as I walk. A million thoughts flood into my mind.

_What were they doing? What was Luna gonna do? Why does Lexa ne-_

"Raven", I'm stopped by Lincoln. “Can we talk?”

I blankly look at him. My mind still back at that closet. My heart breaking into shards that break into tiny fragments. Pieces glittering as my tears run down my face.

“Are you ok? What did I do?”

The world seems to come crashing down as my tears overflow. I break out crying.

********

“You’d think Raven would be back”, I look at the front door.

“Maybe she’s talking to Luna and Lexa”, Octavia shrugs.

“Why not come back here to talk?”

“Maybe they don’t want us to hear.”

I look at Octavia. Her eyes are glued to her phone. Shaking my head I head towards the front door. When I’m about to open it, it swings open. Lincoln stands at the door with Raven in his arms. She’s fast asleep.

“Um… hi.”

“This your friend?”

“Yeah”, I eye him. “What happened?”

“She started crying, after like an hour or so she was getting tired so I brought her up here but she fell asleep.”

“Oh, set her in the bedroom over there.”

Lincoln nods and walks into the room. Octavia doesn’t even look up from her phone when he walks in front of her.

_What has her so distracted?_

Shaking my head I close the door. This all can wait until tomorrow.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I'm not sure if this chapter will be long, short, average, or whatever. But I guess we'll see. So I apologize if it's short, if it's long (no one likes to read too long of things) and if it's average then... there's really need to apologize.

_This_ = someone’s thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

The smell of bacon sweeps into my room. I look up from my computer and at the bedroom door.

_Who’s cooking?_

I get out of bed and leave the bedroom. Lexa stands by the stove. Her hair up in a ponytail, she has an apron on. Her hips lightly sway to the music playing, her apron moving as she moves. I listen to the music playing.

**“Cause I’m like yes and no, wait, I don’t know. I think I’m dying, hold up I’m invincible”**

“So this is the type of music you like?”

Lexa glances over her shoulder. She flashes me a smile. “Morning.”

I sit at the kitchen island. “Why are you making breakfast, isn’t that Luna’s thing?”

Lexa freezes when I say Luna. Her smile drops and she seems to go somewhere else. To a world unknown to humans.

I stand up and walk over to her. “You ok?”, I reach out to her.

She flinches away from me. “Y-yeah”, she glances at my hand. “I was thinking if I should add salt or pepper or both.”

_Liar._

“What do you think?”, she seems to slap the fakest smile onto her face.

“Both”, I smile deciding to play along.

_I’ll have to ask later._

********

The gentle touch of someone’s fingers has me opening my eyes. When I look in front of me, Luna sits on the edge of the bed. She’s smiling down at me. I quickly scramble away.

“You look like you've seen a ghost", she reaches out and tucks hair behind my ear. "What's wrong?"

_Do you care?_

I look her in the eyes. I can’t tell what’s in there. Though whatever it is, it sends shivers down my spine.

_Does she know I saw?_

“Breakfast is ready!”, Clarke knocks on the door.

“Coming!”, I quickly get off the bed and leave the bedroom. I run into Clarke who stumbles back.

“You ok?”

“Yeah…”

_I should tell her._

“You look… scared”, she puts the back of her hand on my forehead. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, just a little dizzy”, I tense up when I feel arms wrap around my waist.

“Ok… well come eat. Lexa made it.”

_I’m sorry Clarke, I should tell you but I can’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot damn, I was gonna have Raven not tell Clarke but I figured what the heck, might as well. I don't know what they were yelling at eachother just empty nothings... feelings? And I bet there is a reason for Clarke to hate Octavia but I couldn't think of one. So if anyone has one that is good enough I might edit the chapter but chances are I won't...  
> Note:
> 
> I put the song in because when I was writing I decide to play a song that sorta portrays Lexa or how she’s feeling. Kinda unable to decide and not really knowing what she wants. I also like this song. Also the song is ‘yes & no’ by XYLO. Should check it out :). Also the song is the bolded part.


	33. Chapter 33

_This_ = someone’s thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

“Wait, are you attracted to me?”, Lincoln leans back.

“Was it that obvious?”, I bite my bottom lip.

“I thought you wanted to be friends, I… I have a girlfriend.”

My face heats up from embarrassment but disappointment pours onto me like the water of a shower. It doesn’t stop no matter how many times I twist the knob.

I look at my feet, “please leave me alone.”

Lincoln stands up and walks away.

_Dammit!_

********

I sit on the bed, hugging my knees as I look down at Luna. The blanket covers half of her body, it reveals the top half as she sleeps.

Sighing I get out of bed and quickly dress. When I get to the lobby, I see Octavia sitting on a couch. She seems down.

"What's up with you?"

"You know Lincoln?", Octavia looks at me.

"Yeah, bald man?"

"Yeah, turns out he has a girlfriend", Octavia wipes her eyes. "I'm such an idiot."

"You and me both, c'mon, let's get some breakfast."

Octavia nods and stands up.

"Oh shit", Octavia leans back. “This is a way bigger problem than mine.”

"Yeah, my exact reaction."

“But this is your problem”, she sets her glass of water on the table. “What are you gonna do?”

“I wish I had an answer.”

“Ok”, Octavia nods. “Then how about this, what are you gonna tell Clarke?"

*******

I wake up hot. Too hot. Lexa hot. My whole body feels on fire. When I open my eyes, I see Lexa draped over me. Her whole body basically covering me. The fluffy blanket is also on me.

No wonder I'm hot.

I try to get away but Lexa wraps her arms around me.

_Even in her sleep she's cuddly._

Smiling I kiss her forehead. I blow on her ear in hopes of waking her up. It takes some effort but green eyes eventually meet blue. A smile slowly spreads across Lexa's face.

"I could get use to this."

Laughing I peck her cheek. "Get off me, I might die of heat exhaustion."

Lexa slowly untangles herself from me. We lie facing each other. Lexa's finger twirls some of my hair. It's not awkward silence, it's perfect silence.

"What are we?", my stupid mouth ruins the moment.

********

A tingle from my ear wakes me up. When I open my eyes I find an ocean blue color. Smiling I realize it’s Clarke. “I could get use to this.”

Clarke’s kisses my cheek. “Get off me, I might die of heat exhaustion.”

I start untangling myself from her. To my surprise we don’t get out of bed, instead we lie facing each other. I gently twirl some of Clarke’s hair on my finger.

“What are we?”

I feel like someone stabbed me in the heart. It feels like they do it over and over again. Luna’s laughs echoes in my head. Her smile from last night. Her way of manipulating me. I don’t realize I’ve scooted away from Clarke until she says something.

“You ok? What did I do?”

I scan my surroundings. I sit on the edge of the bed. The sheets bunched up from my kicking. Clarke looks at me, concern in her eyes.

“I’m sorry”, I stand up.

“Lexa?”

I leave the bedroom. Running out of the room I head to the lobby.

********

(Luna's pov)

Once I hear the click of the door I open my eyes. I stare at the wall as Raven pops into my head. I know she saw Lexa and me. Yet she acts like nothing happened. Though she is distance. Nothing good is gonna come from this. Nothing good will ever come from this.

_What did I do?_


	34. Chapter 34

This = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

(Octavia's pov)

"Nothing", Raven looks at me. "Are you crazy?"

"Why wouldn't you tell Clarke?"

"She doesn't need to have her heart broken. She doesn't deserve it."

"But she deserves to know this", I reach out and takes Raven's hand. "If you were Clarke, wouldn't you want to know that your girlfriend cheated on you?"

Raven looks down. A few seconds pass before she nods. "So how am I gonna tell her?"

********

Heading down to the lobby I see Luna, Raven, and Octavia. They're all waiting for Lexa and I. "So what's for breakfast?"

"It's 2pm", Octavia looks up from her phone.

"Then lunch."

"We were thinking of heading to a cafe, apparently they have the best maple", Raven avoids eye contact.

"Sounds good to me", I make a mental note to talk to her later. We all head out of the resort. Looking around I notice everyone seems... distracted. Luna looks guilty, Raven looks like she has every planet on her shoulder, Octavia looks sad, Lexa... she seems confused but also worried. "Did something happen, that no one is telling me?"

"Nope", Luna is quick to respond. "Lexa?"

Lexa doesn’t respond at first. Her grip on my hand tightening and loosening. Luna just looks at her. I can feel a shiver run through Lexa. "Nothing that I can think about", Lexa says it like she’s in pain.

"Don't play dumb", Raven glares at the two women. She stops walking which causes everyone else to stop

Octavia kicks at some snow, her arms behind her back.

"Play dumb?", Luna smiles. "There's nothing to play dumb about."

For the first time I see Lexa go into her mental shell. Like a turtle retreating from danger.

"You both know what I'm talking about", Raven steps towards them.

Luna and Raven start bickering about not knowing and knowing. It's a pointless argument. Nothing is gonna happen, no one's gonna gain anything. Fisting my hands I say, "guys."

No one seems to hear me, though Octavia does glance at me.

"Guys", I step forward.

Everyone keeps arguing.

"Would someone just tell me!" I shout over them having enough of the arguing.

"Lexa and Luna had sex", Octavia looks at the ground. "Raven saw it", she mumbles the last part. It's like she worried she got Raven in trouble.

It's take a minute for the words to sink in. Cheating, sex, Raven, Luna, Lexa, lies... I look at Lexa. "They're joking... right?"

Lexa doesn't respond. Her eyes are guarded, making it impossible for me to read.

I look at Luna. "Did you have sex with Lexa?"

"She was drunk."

“You forced me to get drunk!”, Lexa glares at Luna.

"Don't! Don't make up excuses!", I glare at Luna. "It's a yes or no, did you have sex with Lexa?"

"Yes", Luna nods.

I pull my hand away from Lexa. "How could you?"

"Cl-"

"No! No, all you do is lie!", I look at Raven. "And you! How could you not tell me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me or face the truth that Luna doesn't love you?"

Raven doesn't respond.

I look at Octavia. I can't find a reason to hate her. She is the one that told me. Looking back I Luna I ask, "why? Why do it?"

She shrugs, "I was trying to figure everything out."

"By having sex with someone's girlfriend?!"

"You were gonna do the same thing to Flynn! You can't act all innocent!", Luna steps forward. "I'm doing the same you did."

"No, you're not. I didn't do it! I didn't have sex with Flynn, and I'm not playing Raven."

Lexa mumbles something I can’t make out into words.

"But you were playing Lexa, what's the difference? Besides different people?"

_She has a point. She's testing her feelings like I was. What is the difference_

Sighing I shake my head. "I don't know, I don't know anymore", I look at Lexa. "Please say you had a reason to do it."

Lexa thinks. She seems to scroll through a million excuses, choices, decissions, and outcomes. "I... I didn’t want you to fear me.”

_She's messing with your head, Clarke. Don't let her get in._

"Don't lie! I'm not in the mood."

Lexa frowns. She does more thinking before responding. "She said she would make it look like I attacked her, you were already afraid, you didn’t need to fear me more.”

I feel my anger release but it quickly comes back. “So you cheat?!”

“I was protecting you!”

“From what? Empty words? A lie? You know I’ll believe you if you just walk to me”, I let the anger leave my voice. “I’m not a 5 year old anymore, I can do things.”

“I know that now.”

“Why not just tell me?”

“I didn’t want to get you sucked into something that didn’t concern you.”

I nod understanding her answer. “Did you have sex?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Two answers come at once. One from Luna, the other from Lexa. I know I should believe Lexa but I kinda want to hear Luna.

“She seemed to enjoy it, like she was having fun.”

Lexa glares at me. “Even when drunk I can hold myself back from a mistake!”

“Tell her past self that”, Luna smirks.

Lexa looks at me. “I didn’t have sex.”

When I look into her eyes I see the truth.

“I know”, I grab her hands. “Just give me time to think about it”, I smile at her.

Worry is written all over her face. Bringing her hands up I kiss them before letting them go.

I look at Luna. “I don’t know if you’re telling the truth, but it’s pretty fucked up if you are lying.”

“Clarke”, Raven steps towards me.

"This is probably the worst thing you've done since we were children, and you’ve put a crab on my ass", I glare at her. "I thought you were a friend."

"I am", desperation rings from Raven's voice.

"A friend would tell no matter what", I walk around her. I walk away from everyone, I don't know where I'm going but I have to get away from everyone. I stop when I hear someone following. I turn to see Octavia.

"Someone has to watch you", for once the joke like tone is out of voice. Seriousness rings in her voice.

Nodding I start walking again.


	35. Chapter 35

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

"Well... that just happened", Luna stands a few feet away from me.

I look at Luna. "We had sex?! Why the hell would you say that?”

Luna shrugs. "You were drunk, how would you know?”

"No", I step towards Luna. "I wasn’t drunk, I’ not sure what you’re trying to get out of this but it’s not gonna work.”

Luna doesn't respond, she looks at me through the corner of her eyes.

"Why'd you have sex with Lexa?", Raven speaks up.

Luna looks at her. She crosses her arms with a shrug. "To feel something.”

"Do you not feel anything with me?"

I listen to the two yell at each other.

I turn to Raven. "If you saw something why didn't you stop it? Stop me from touching your girlfriend!"

"I thought you weren't drunk, I thought you guys were doing it out of pure attraction."

"That's not a reason! Your girlfriend is having sex with someone else!"

Raven looks down. "I was mad, mad at Luna, I didn't care anymore."

"Then you have no right, no reason to be at her", I eye Raven. "If you didn't care enough to stop it then you shouldn't care enough to yell at her."

I don't have time for this, I have to figure out how to tell Clarke. Fix all of this.

********

"So, what are you gonna do?", Octavia flicks at her straw.

"Do I have to do something?"

"You can't leave things as they are, even I know you'll regret it."

"What do you suggest I do?", I lean forward. "Hmm?"

"Talk to everyone, without anger, just talk. Understand their point of view", Octavia leans back. "Get everyone's thoughts, opinions, and all that then you'll be able to come to a conclusion."

"How many breakups have you dealt with?"

Octavia laughs and shakes her head. "Go get your woman back."

I nod and stand up. Right as I'm about to walk away I ask, "what do you think?"

"Doesn't concern me so I have no opinion. But I do think everyone is just a ball of jealousy and anger that destined to explode... and it finally has”, she takes a sip of her drink. “It’s like wrapping rubber bands around a watermelon. It can only stand so much before it explodes. “

I nod and leave the Cafe. After an hour or so of searching, I come across Luna. She's sitting on a fallen tree.

"You gonna come closer or just stare?", she looks at me over her shoulder. "There's a spot", she pats by her.

I walk over and sit by her. It's silent for about 10 minutes before she speaks up.

"You have questions."

"I do", I nod.

"Are you gonna ask them?"

"I'd rather you tell me then me have to ask", I look at her.

"Right, well where do I start?", she leans back on her hands. "Why did I have sex with Lexa? Well, I honestly thought I could convince her to love me. I thought maybe I had a chance, a chance to be with her… even if that meant threatening her.”

"She didn't seem to remember anything."

"That's the funny part, she shouldn’t remember anything."

“Cause she was drunk?”

“No, cause we never had sex.”

“Then why say it?!”

“I wanted you mad, jealous, break up then I could take her.”

"What's wrong with Raven?"

"I had clouded eyes, I should've stuck with Raven... now I might have lost the only person who actually cares for me", Luna looks at me.

"Do you care for her? You can't have a relationship with only one person sending the love."

"Tell yourself that", Luna smiles to ease the pain of her words. "But yes, I do love Raven."

"Well did you get what you wanted?", I look away. "From having ‘sex’ or getting close?"

"Nope, surprisingly even when Lexa was drunk, you could see resistance. It's like she knew something was wrong” Luna sighs. "A minute after Raven left, Lexa stopped. She actually said your name. It was like she was snapped out of a trance or something."

_So even when drunk she knows better._

Sighing I stand up. "Thanks, and good luck with Raven."

Luna nods. I leave her with her thoughts as I set out to find another person.

Now where's Raven?

********

I run into the Cafe to see Octavia. She's on her phone as she sits at a table. I run over to her.

"Where's Clarke?"

Octavia looks at me. "She went to talk to someone."

"Who?"

"I don't know, obviously not you so Raven or Luna."

"What why them?"

"I told her to get everyone's side of the story before making a decision", Octavia sets her phone down.

_Luna, have to find Luna._

"Thank you", I run out of the Cafe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I re read this it made me think of that scene from movies when the couples are happy and it shows all them side by side in like boxes or something. I also thought of Friends.  
> ~I'll be there for you 👏👏👏👏~  
> (I know there's not a clap after 'I'll be there for you' but I just like that lyric and clapping so... yeah, but for those who will get mad at this here's this):  
> ~So no one told you life was gonna be this way 👏👏👏👏~


	36. Chapter 36

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

"Luna!", I run over to her.

Luna turns and looks at me. "What's wrong?"

"Ha..." I take in a deep breath. "Have you seen Clarke?"

"Yeah, you just missed her."

"Which way?"

Luna points in a direction.

"Thank you!"

Luna grabs my wrist before I can run off. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Taking advantage of you."

Sighing I shake my head. "It's fine... well not really but I can kinda see why you did it."

_This is so not fine but I have bigger problems! You money sucking whore!_

Luna lets go of my wrist. "Now go find your girl", she smiles at me.

********

Not much to my surprise I see Raven sitting at a bar. She's staring at a full glass of beer. Her fingers tap the counter.

"You going to drink?", I sit by her.

"Thinking about it", she looks at me. "I thought you were mad."

"I was but where does anger get you?"

Raven shrugs, "nowhere."

"I want to know, why didn't you tell me?"

Raven looks away. "I thought you would be heartbroken, I figured if you didn't know everything would be fine."

_Raven’s not that big of a problem. I can forget about this mistake._

"Well, what are you going to do about Luna?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to be with her?", I raise my voice.

Raven nods.

"Then talk to her", I scoot forward. "Figure things out… sitting is doing you no good.”

"Take your own advice", Raven glares at me.

"I am, why do you think I'm here?"

"Where's Lexa?"

"I'm going to find her next, settle things."

"Can you take me to Luna, just so I don't feel like I'm alone?"

I nod. Raven and I walk in perfect silence as we head towards Luna. When she spots us she runs over to me.

"Lexa was looking for you", she glances at Raven.

"Why?"

"She wanted to talk to you, she was panting and running everywhere."

"Which way did she head?"

Luna points in the direction I just came from.

"Thanks", I turn and run.

_Why can't Lexa just sit still?_

Running through the double doors I see the dining area is empty.

_What the hell?_

"Lexa?", I walk around.

_No one, not a soul._

“Where would Lexa go?", I lightly tap my feet.

********

I run around asking if people have seen Clarke. Everyone says no or don't know who she is.

_Dammit, where are you?_

I finally give up on searching as the sun starts setting.

_Maybe she wants to be alone._

I head towards a bench in the park. I can look out on the pond. Ducks swim around.

_Did I really end everything? Get rid of everything? Everything I’ve wanted since I was 7?_

My phone goes off playing a song. I look at the caller.

“Clarke?”

“Lexa, where are you?”

“I’m sitting on a bench.”

“Where?”

“In the park…”

“Stay where you are, I’ll come to you”, Clarke hangs up before I can respond.

_Fine, I’ll just sit here._

********

I start heading across the bridge when a crowd gets in my way. I try to push through people, "move!"

I see Lexa sitting on a bench. She’s looking at the crowd.

I shoot my hand into the air. "Lexa!"

"Clarke!"

"Please move", I push some people out of my way. They give me dirty looks. A hand grabs mine and pulls me out of the crowd. I stumble forward and into Lexa's arms.

"You ok?"

"Yeah", I look up at Lexa.

“Why are you looking for me?”

“I… I couldn’t leave things the way they are.”

Lexa seems confused.

“I love you, I love you a lot. Luna told me it was all a lie… but if you were drunk would you have done it?”

“The sex?”

I nod.

"I always get drunk when I'm mad or whatever. It's just something I do, I guess I get too drunk.”

"Do you do it on purpose?"

"I get drunk on purpose”, Lexa admits. “But even if drunk I could never cheat on you, I love you too much to do so.”

"This isn't the first time you've said you love me then you go and kiss or have sex with someone."

"Yeah, I realize that."

"So say we get married, 10 years into marriage I piss you off. Make you made beyond belief. More mad then when Christian Grey found Anastasia was pregnant, would you go get drunk and cheat on me?"

Lexa doesn't respond. She bites her bottom lip.

"You shouldn't have to think about an answer."

"Hopefully by then I would've stopped this habit."

"So you would stop drinking?"

"If it meant I got to be with you."

I almost jump and hug her then I freeze. "How can I trust what you say?"

Lexa shrugs, "I'll have to prove it, show it."

"Say I do trust you, believe you, what would happen from there?"

"What do you want to happen?", Lexa smirks leaning in.

"Not sex", I push her face away. "I've think I've had enough of that for a while."

Fear goes into Lexa's eyes.

Laughing I put my hands on her cheeks. I squish her cheeks making her look like a fish. "I love you."

"I wuv wu o (I love you too)."

Smiling I kiss her nose. "You're so cute."

Lexa smiles the best she can with squished cheeks. "I ot wute, Wime wary (I not cute, I'm scary)."

Laughing I let her go.

Lexa wraps her arms around me pulling me close. "Am I forgiven?"

I shrug, "I'll think about that."

Lexa's smile turns into a frown.

"I have to think of a punishment", I smile up at her. "But as of now, you are forgiven", I reach up and wrap my arms around her neck.

Lexa's smile is quick to return. She puts her forehead against mine. "What happened to everyone else?"

"They're doing there own thing", I shrug. "But let's not worry about them, I want to spend time with you."

********

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it”, Luna glances at me.

“I don’t know what you were going through, I’m not going to say I understand but what you did was… I can’t forgive you for it.”

Luna nods.

“I really, really love you but if all it takes is one fight then you’re off having sex then I can’t be with you.”

“So… where’s that leave us?”

“I guess, I guess we’re on a break.”

Luna looks ahead of her. “That’s just a nice way to breakup.”

“I’m sorry”, I stand up. “Maybe we can try again, but I doubt it”, I walk away from her.

********

I wait for Lincoln to text back. A few seconds pass before he responds

Lincoln: Lexa and Clarke are hugging

Octavia: What about Raven and Luna?

Lincoln: Give me a few minutes to get to them

I set my phone down.

I'm happy my friends got what, who they wanted but what about me?

My phone dings.

He said it would be a few minutes

When I look at the text a smile quickly shows up on my face.

Lincoln: Would you be willing to go on a date with me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone but Raven got a happy ending. But don't worry I'll have someone sweep in and save her. I don't know who yet, I'm changing it from Raven and Luna. Who would you guys prefer Raven to fall in love with?


	37. Chapter 37

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

January 5th, 2052

I look at Raven. "You've been distant", I flick a pea at her.

Raven shrugs, "I don’t know what to do anymore. I still have this weird feeling."

"Explain."

"It’s like something is missing, not Luna but someone else, something else.”

"I feel ya, I can't shake a feeling. I've tried to act loving with Lexa which is easy but there’s just something, you know?”

Octavia laughs from her seat.

"What are you laughing about?"

"It sounds like Clarke is going crazy being around Lexa 24/7 and Raven is craving for a lover.”

We both look at her.

"Listen to yourselves. Raven is going crazy without a lover And you", Octavia looks at me. "Don't you think you spend too much time with Lexa? I understand dating but this, c'mon. Spend time apart, be your own person. She’s stuck you like glue.”

"You're getting amusement from this because everything is ok with you and Lincoln."

Octavia shakes her head. "I'm not getting amusement... I can see you’re miserable, same with Raven.”

_Hot damn._

I wait for her to finish knowing she isn't done.

"You've always been great at acting but everyone can see regret in your eyes. You're playing your girlfriend, making them think everything is fine", she looks down. "How do you expect to be fully committed in a relationship when a big grey cloud is hanging above you?"

 _She has a point_.

"We only have 3 months of school left, spend those 3 months without your lover and away from Luna, do your own thing. Who knows, maybe you might find someone else", Octavia stands up. She walks away without another word.

I look at Raven.

"I'm with her, I don't know about you", Raven stands up and walks away.

How do I tell Lexa? She'll think I'm breaking up with her...

"I thought we were ok", Lexa's voice cracks as she talks.

I shrug, "I did too but maybe... maybe this is good for us."

Lexa glances down, "I don’t understand."

"Listen, I don't wanna break up but maybe just time apart, time to figure everything out... my feelings, get over all of this."

"So at the end of the year we can talk?"

"I don't know, just give it time, give everything time."

Lexa nods. "Ok."

_This is for the best, who knows, maybe your relationship will come out stronger._

When I leave the dorm I meet Raven outside.

“So what now?”

“Well… we have to go somewhere during summer. Where do you want to go?”

“Away from here.”

“New York?”

Raven smiles, “hell yes!”


	38. Chapter 38

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******* = pov (point of view) change

March 31st, 2052

"Are you sure you have to leave", Lexa's grip on my hand tightens. "You can stay."

"I won't be gone for long."

Lexa squeezes my hand. "Why can't I come?"

"It's time apart, trust me, we need it."

"Promise you'll call?"

I nod, "I promise."

Lexa lets go of my hand. "I'm gonna be so lonely", she sticks her bottom lip out.

Smiling I kiss her cheek. "You'll be fine."

"You sure you don't wanna come?", Raven looks at Octavia.

"I have things to sort out at my home town", she smiles at Raven.

"Well... I don't know what's going on but may it get better."

Octavia nods. "May it."

"Ready", I nudge Raven.

"Always", she smiles at me.

We both start walking. We head towards the airport line. I stop walking and turn. I head to Lexa and kiss her on the lips. Bringing my hands up I put them on her cheek.

"Don't go cheating on me."

Lexa laughs, nuzzling into my hand, "I won't", she kisses my palm.

Sighing I step back. "This is harder than I thought", I smile at her.

"Go", Lexa gently pushes me. "Have fun."

"You gonna be ok?", Raven runs a finger from her eye and down her cheek.

"Stop teasing", I light shove her.

Laughing she takes my hand. She starts running to the line.

"Slow down!", I stumble on my feet.

"No! This is an adventure!", she jumps in the middle of running.

Smiling I squeeze her hand.

(3 hours later)

"Lexa said she had a penthouse here", I glance at the address.

"Did you look it up on Google Maps?"

Raven nods, "it says to go this way", she points down an alley.

"Are you mad?"

"The map says so", she grabs my wrist and starts dragging me.

The alley isn't a pretty sight. Clothes lines hang, empty boxes are everywhere. A cat runs in front of us, hissing at us as it does. Walking out of the alley we're met with a homeless man. He smiles when he sees us. It's not a sweet smile, more of a pervy smile. I push the back of my skirt close to my legs to try and hide the view under. His eyes follow us until he can't see us anymore.

"New York is-"

"Here it is!", Raven starts running without warning.

We stop at the front of a huge building.

"This place?"

Raven nods.

"Welcome", a door person smiles and nods at us.

I follow Raven into the building.

"May I help you?", a woman at the front desk asks.

"We're here on behalf of-"

"Ah, Lexa Woods", the woman looks at me.

"I'm not..."

She laughs and shakes her head. "I know silly, you must be her girlfriend."

"Yes, I am, did she say something?"

"She told her dad which told us... so sorta", the woman walks around the desk. "I'll be your personal helper, if you need anything then just call, I was also asked to show you around New York... for safety reasons."

"Well I'm Clarke Griffin", I wait for Raven to say her name but she doesn't. When I look at her, she's looking at her phone. "Sorry, this is Raven Reyes."

"It's fine", the woman smiles. "I'm Anya Cooper", she holds out her hand.

Raven looks up from her phone when she hears the name. "So where are we staying?"

Anya nods and walks to the elevator. We follow her in. "You'll be staying in the top floor, also known as the penthouse. You'll find it very comfortable."

The doors open to reveal a lobby. "This is the entrance, make yourself at home."

Raven kicks off her shoes.

"Where's our stuff?"

"Lexa wanted it personally delivered, people will bring it up shortly", she flashes a smile at me. "Do you want a tour?"

"Nah-"

"Yes", I quickly interrupt Raven. "We would."

Anya nods. We follow her around the house. "Here you have the living room", she goes down a step that leads into the living room.

A fire place sits under a tv that hangs from the wall. A white couch that can seat 10 sits at the back of the living room, near the step. Between the fire place and couch is a rug. On the rug is coffee table. I walk over to a plant in a glass case.

"What's this?"

A pretty plant shines under the glass cover.

"A very poisonous plant, Lexa thinks it brings out the color."

_Interesting._

Once the tour is done Anya leaves us so we can settle in.

"Your girlfriend did good", Raven smiles at me.

"She's rich", I shrug.

"Now, how many people do you think I can hit up in one night?"

_Thinking about sex already?_

I look at Raven. When I do I see hurt in her eyes.

_She's just trying to fill a hole in her heart._

I decide to go easy on her. "For every... 5 women you hit up I'll give you $50."

Raven smiles, "challenge accepted."

********

I lie face up on my bed, one leg dangling off the edge of the bed. The room feels smaller without Clarke. I put my hand in the air. The light outlines my hand. Clarke's smile pops up in my head.

_God I miss you._

I close my fist. As soon as I do my phone goes off. "Finally, a distraction", I reach over and answer the call. "Hello?"

"Alexandria?"

Groaning I roll over onto my stomach. "Mom."


	39. Chapter 39

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

"Mom", I let venom seep into my voice.

"Hi honey, is Clarke having fun in New York?"

Anger pushes it's way into me. "How the hell do you know she's there?"

Mom laughs. "We have tabs on you, I know you don't want us in your life but we're here to stay."

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk."

"Is that not what we're doing?", I sit up.

"Oh honey, I mean face to face."

A creak from the kitchen has me frozen in place.

********

I sit on the couch. The tvs light in the only light in the whole penthouse. Staring down at my phone I look at Lexa's contact. I've called 5 times and she hasn't answered.

_Maybe she's busy._

I turn off my phone and look at the tv. FRIENDS plays. I kinda wish I was spending the first night doing something with Raven but this is good, I suppose. I bring my knees to my chest.

_I hope Lexa is ok._

I close my eyes. Green eyes look back at me. A seductive, 'innocent' smile shows up. My eyes fly open when I hear the elevator.

"Sleeping on the couch?"

_Who's that?_

A woman with white hair sits by me. Her hair goes to her shoulders.

"Who..."

"You've met me", the woman looks at me.

"Jasmine?"

She smiles. She's leaning in. Too close. Too close! Red flags go off.

"Don't look so scared", she reaches out. Her thumb brushing my bottom lip. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Wh-why are you here?"

"Someone has to watch you", she licks her thumb.

I look around.

Laughing she sits back. "No one else is here, your friend is off fucking a million people so I doubt someone will show up for a while."

The elevator opens again.

_Great, another person._

To my surprise Anya walks in. "Jasmine", she nods at the girl.

"Damn, looks like you're another guard."

"I'm surprised, I didn't expect Lexa to ask you to watch Clarke."

Jasmine laughs shaking her head, "I wasn't asked by my sister".

"Then what business do you have here?", Anya sits on the back of the couch.

"Let's just say... New York is the Woods area... and dad isn't that happy with the blonde."

_There's more to say._

"But as much as he hates the blonde, he just wants to talk to her", Jasmine looks at the tv.

"Why would he want to talk to me?"

Sighing Jasmine looks at me. "You've made Lexa happy, that's rare. So dad has a deal."

 _A deal?_ _Why can't I have a normal trip?_

********

"I just want to reconnect", mom sits on the counter.

"It's a little late."

"Listen, Jasmine is at New York by now."

"Why the hell is she there?"

"I can't say."

"Why can't you?"

"Not yet at least", mom smiles. "I know you don't want me in your life but I've changed."

I burst out laughing.

"I'm serious", mom gets off the counter.

"What do you actually want?"

"My daughter back."

Shaking my head I walk around her. "You lost your daughter as soon as you laid a threatening hand on her."

Mom doesn't respond. Instead she walks over to me. I feel her fingers tuck hair behind my ear. I flinch away. A part of me thought she was gonna hit me.

**"Mommy! Mommy stop!"**

I shake my head free of the memory. It takes mom wiping a tear for me to realize I'm crying. Sighing I wipe my eyes. "Please leave."

Mom holds something out. I look at it.

_A card?_

"This is where I'm staying. I hope we can talk."

I take the card. Hope shines in her eyes. Scanning the card I walk over to the window. Opening the window I chuck the card out. "You're next", I glare at mom.

"Fine, I'm leaving", she heads to the exit.

********

(Next day)

"You know I'm 19 years old, I don't need a babysitter", I glance at the two women.

"Not babysitting, just watching", Jasmine sits by me.

Anya stays standing.

Sighing Raven sinks into the couch. "You guys are too serious."

Anya glances at her. "What do you want to do?"

"Something fun", Raven's stomach growls.

"Lunch it is", Jasmine heads to the elevator.

Putting on my shoes I follow them. As we walk I notice the two are always on guard. They give everyone a good scan as we walk. We all walk into a Cafe.

"Is that Raven and Clarke?", a familiar scratchy voice catches my attention.

"Murphy?", I walk to the front counter.

Murphy smiles at me. "What brings you guys to New York?"

"Just visiting."

He looks at the ladies in the background. "I see you've met Anya."

I'm a little shocked he knows her. "Yeah."

"Well what can I get you pretty ladies? Hot chocolate? Soda? Beer?"

"Do you have croissants?", I sit at the front counter.

"Donuts", Raven sits by me.

"Coffee", Jasmine sits on the other side of me.

"What about you?", Murphy motions to Anya.

"I'm good but thanks."

Murphy nods and heads to help other people.

"Why are you two following us?", Raven glares at both of the women.

"I'm here to show you around", Anya sits by Raven.

"We don't need your help", Raven glares at her.

_Why can't she be nice?_

Murphy lays our food in front of us.

"New York is more dangerous than you think", Anya says when Raven bites into her donut.

It takes Raven a few seconds to respond. "I think we're good."

Laughing Anya wipes frosting off Raven's cheek. "I think you need my help", she smiles.

I notice Raven's face go red. Too red.

"She's right", Jasmine speaks up. "If you don't know what you're doing then you can easily get taken advantage of."

I'm about to say something when my phone goes off. I answer it. "Hello?"

"Clarke, are you ok?"

"Yeah... why wouldn't I be? Is something bad gonna happen? What aren't you telling me?"

"I was just asking, I don't know if anything bad is gonna happen, and I have no secrets from you."

"Is that my sister?", Jasmine takes my phone. "Hello loving sister of mine."

I can hear Lexa yelling on the other side of the phone. Jasmine just laughs it off.

_I'm glad I'm an only child._

"Lexa, coming to New York isn-" Jasmine stops talking. "She hung up."

I'm handed my phone.

"Looks like Lexa is coming to New York", Jasmine fake smiles. "Yay?"

_Great, can nothing go right?_

I nod forcing a smile on my face. I no longer feel hungry. "If New York is so dangerous then why don't we leave?"

Jasmine doesn't get a chance to respond when a man walks up to me. "Ma'am?"

I look over my shoulder and at him. "Yes?"

"Hi, I'm Lexa's dad."


	40. Chapter 40

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

"I'm surprised you asked me to come with you", mom walks by me.

"Just shut up."

"I thought you said you would never use the private jet."

"What part of shut up do you not understand?", I get onto the jet.

Mom smiles and follows behind me. It's a quiet ride, which I prefer. Once we land I search for Clarke.

"Where does it say she is?"

"Shut up!", I stop by a Cafe. Looking in I see Clarke and dad. "Clarke!", I run into the Cafe.

********

"Lexa's dad?"

The man nods towards Jasmine. Jasmine stands up letting him take her seat.

"We don't have much time", Jasmine says to her dad.

"I know", he settles down on the seat. "I understand you took my daughter's heart."

_Do you have a right to call her your daughter?_

I nod, "I am."

"I don't know if you know this but", the man leans forward. "I don't exactly agree with my daughter being a lesbian."

"I'm aware but I don't think you can change that."

The man smiles. "Do you watch what you're saying?"

"Only to those I respect", I glare at him.

Laughing he shakes his head. "I am willing to make an exception but you have to agree to something."

"Which is?"

"Clarke!", arms wrap around me.

I have to grab onto the chair to not fall off. I feel a million kisses getting pressed to my face. "Lexa", I grab onto her shirt. "Stop", I push on her stomach.

After a big wet kiss on the lips she finally stops.

"God, I've missed you."

"We've been separated for a day."

"Too long", Lexa kisses my forehead.

Reaching up I squish her cheeks. "Squishy face", I smile at her.

Lexa's dad coughs getting our attention. I take my hands off Lexa, my face now red. Lexa's enjoyment goes to anger.

"We're leaving", she grabs my wrist and pulls me to my feet.

"Hey", I pull against her as she starts dragging me to the exit. "Lexa."

She drags me out of the Cafe. Her grip on my wrist tightening. I stumble on my feet as she keeps dragging me.

"Lexa, stop!"

Lexa stops walking and looks at me. "What's wrong?"

I pull my hand out of her grip. Crouching I fix my shoes.

"Clarke?", Lexa crouches in front of me.

I look up at her. "I left my phone."

"Anya will get it."

"What about Raven?"

"She'll stick with Anya."

"What about Jasmine?"

"No one gives a shit about her."

"She's nice."

"Do you think she brought you to the Cafe to actually eat?", Lexa stands up.

I don't respond.

"She told dad to come, her whole plan was to get you guys to talk."

"What if he had something good to say?", I hold my hand out. Lexa takes it helping me up.

"He never has anything good to say", Lexa entwines our fingers together.

"How do you know?"

"He's my dad", Lexa gently pulls my hand trying to get me to walk.

I don't move. "Why are you here?"

********

"So", I look at Anya. "Now what?"

"I wanna talk to you", Lexa's dad smiles at me.

"About?"

"A deal, I'm gonna tell you then you tell Clarke."

"Why should I?"

"Cause Lexa isn't gonna let Clarke out of her sights, but she might let you talk to Clarke alone."

"Is this a good deal? Will someone get hurt?"

"This is a great deal, and no one gets hurt."

Sighing I nod, "I'm listening".


	41. Chapter 41

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

"Why are you here?"

Lexa shrugs. "To see you."

"Lexa!", I almost yell at the brunette. "Why. Are. You. Here."

"My mom showed up to the dorm, she knew you were in New York... she also Jasmine was there. I got scared."

I pull my hand away. "Why does everyone baby me?"

"It's hard not to", Lexa takes a step towards me.

I step back. "I left for a reason."

"This should be good", Lexa rolls her eyes.

Anger boils up in me. Not wanting to say anything I'd regret, I turn and walk away.

"Clarke! Clarke, where are you going?"

"Away!", I shout over my shoulder.

********

_Great, just what I need._

Sighing I run my fingers through my hair.

_Do I go after the blonde? No, I have other things to worry about._

Grabbing my phone I call Anya.

"Hello?"

"I don't know where Clarke is going, I want you to find her and keep her out of trouble."

"Yes ma'am."

I hang up on Anya. As though in a soap opera, it starts to rain. Feeling frustrated I scream at the sky.

********

"I want her to leave", L.D (I forgot Lexa's dad name so I'll be referring to him like this) glances at Anya.

"I'm not leaving", Anya sits straight in her seat.

"It's ok, I have to deal hear this deal."

Anya glares at L.D. He doesn't flinch or say anything. Right on time, Anya's phone rings. When she hangs up she stands up. "You'll be ok?"

I nod.

Anya leaves the Cafe in a hurry.

"What's the deal?"

"Like I said, this deal is nothing bad. In fact it's really good."

"Get to the point old man."

"Now as you know Lexa is 21 years old, almost 22. In 3 or 4 months now", he sits back. His mind seems to go back to an old memory. "So Lexa is due to inherit my company once she hits 22. But I don't want distractions which Clarke is one. But maybe she might listen to this deal."

********

"He said that if you leave Lexa, break all ties with her then he'll pay for your college, he'll take your parent's company out of debt, and you'll be able to move on with life. But he'll gladly bring it all, all the debt and worse, if you have any contact with Lexa", Raven looks at me.

"What if I stay with Lexa?"

"Then say goodbye to your parents, your degree, your future... everything."

"Any other options?"

"Well there was anther one. You do get to stay with Lexa but... your parents lose everything. You become a house wife who doesn't do anything. You'll be hiding in Lexa's shadow."

"What's the option?"

"When Lexa turns 22 she'll take her dad's company, he'll make your parents hand there company over to you, then you'll marry Lexa and hand the company over to her. With that the debt your parents own will be forgotten. But with that you'll quit college and become a house wife."

I don't respond.

"Personally I would do the second one, you get to be with Lexa."

"But I take everything from my parents."

"They would want you do the second one. They would die a million times for you."

"But the first one I break them free of debt."

"But you lose Lexa."

I hear the elevator behind me.

"Anyways", Raven stands up. "A week, a week to decide", Raven quickly heads to her room.

"Clarke?", Lexa walks over to me. "You ok?"

I nod. "Yeah", I look up at her.

"What happens in a week?"

I shake my head not wanting to talk about it. Standing up I hug her. Lexa's arms wrap around my waist.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

I nod, tears slowly coming down my face. "I'm sorry."

"Is this about earlier? I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm sorry", I nuzzle into her neck.

"Hey, hey it's ok. I'm not mad. Nothing you do could ever make me mad for too long."

_If only you knew._

********

When I walk into the living room I see Lexa sitting on the couch. Clarke is asleep next to her.

"Lexa?", I walk over to her.

"You're still awake?", Lexa looks at me.

"Couldn't sleep... do you think I can talk to you?"

"Sure", Lexa scoots over.

"So... your dad told me a few things."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halfway through I forgot Lexa's dad name. Did I give him a name? I searched the chapters but didn't find anything so until I figure it out his name is gonna be L.D for Lexa's dad.


	42. Chapter 42

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

April 5th, 2052

I walk around holding Lexa's hand. "Look!", I pull her over to a window.

"You want that?"

"Well... it's pretty but you don't have to buy me it."

Lexa shrugs, "I have the money."

We head into the store. I try on clothes.

"Look at this", Lexa holds something up.

"What is that?", I reach out. Lexa hands it to me. "Does this count as clothes?"

"It's more of something you'd wear to bed", Lexa winks at me.

"You're gross", I hand her the 'outfit' back.

"I'm buying you it", she smiles at me.

Shaking my head I keep browsing through clothes. While browsing I notice Lexa on the phone. She has that serious look again. I stop browsing and walk over to her.

"No, I still need to tell her", Lexa notices me. She smiles and hangs up.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing, ready to check out?"

I look down at the clothes. "Yeah."

On our way back to the penthouse I keep glancing at Lexa.

"What?"

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Hmm... nope", she shakes her head.

"Are you sure? You seem super serious at times."

Lexa laughs and shakes her head. "I'm just happy to be out with you."

********

_Leave it to Clarke to notice._

"We're here", I stop at the front of the apartment.

"You're not coming in?", Clarke looks up at me.

"No, I have a few things to handle."

"When will you be back?"

"As soon as possible", I kiss her forehead. "Be safe."

She nods, "same goes for you."

A shiver runs down my spine as I walk into the Cafe. Dad sits at a table, a smile on his face.

"Make this quick old man, I have someone waiting for me."

"Clarke?"

"Who else?"

Dad leans back. "So have you made up your mind?"

"I'll have to talk to Clarke... I know she won't want to take her parents company but it'll work out."

Dad nods. "Better."

"But you don't lay a hand on her, as soon as we're married... she's pushed out of all this."

"Of course", he smiles at me. "She comes first", he repeats my words.

_Always, she always comes first._

I look out the window.

_Now how do I tell her?_


	43. Chapter 43

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

********

April 5th, 2052

"You asshole!", Clarke throws a vase at Lexa. Lexa misses it by an inch. "How could you not include me!", this time Clarke throws a cup.

"Calm down", Lexa gets under a table.

Clarke knocks the table over. "You don't have a right to tell me to calm down!"

(A few minutes before all this)

"You're back!", Clarke leaps up and hugs Lexa.

"I told you I was coming back", Lexa smiles.

Clarke leans back and starts searching Lexa. "You didn't get me anything?"

"No, sorry."

I tune them both out as I continue watching tv. Anya sits by me. She seems sucked into the television.

"You what!"

I turn to look at Clarke when she yells.

"Clarke-"

"This wasn't for you to decide!", Clarke shoves Lexa.

"There's a reason I didn't have you decide", I can see Lexa holding herself back.

Anya watches with no intention to help either of them out.

"Why?", Clarke crosses her arms. "Did you think I was gonna leave you? Do you not trust me!"

"That's not it!"

Clarke reaches over and throws a vase at Lexa.

(Present moment)

"You don't have a right to tell me to calm down!"

"Put the knife down", Lexa scoots back on her butt as Clarke steps closer.

"Do you just expect me to drop everything and marry you?!"

"Clarke."

"Answer the question!", Clarke throws the knife at Lexa.

Lexa ducks out of the way but the knife sinks into her leg. "Anya!", Lexa calls out to the guard.

Anya is off the couch in a second. She wraps her arms around Clarke and lifts her off her feet.

"Let me go! Let me go!", Clarke kicks at the air. "You bitch!"

I watch as Anya tosses her into a room and closes the door. I can hear Clarke screaming and kicking the door.

"Let me out! Let me out!"

Anya has to push against the door to keep it shut. I can see she's having trouble.

"Alexandria Woods!"

_Uh oh, the name._

"I hate you! I fucking hate you!"

Lexa sits by me, her leg still bleeding.

"You wanna marry that?", Anya teases.

Lexa laughs and checks out her leg.

_Dam... I had no idea Clarke could be that crazy._

********

When I feel the energy drained from me, I slump against the door. The tears come bursting out. I can feel myself shaking.

There's a knock on the door, "Clarke."

I don't respond. I bring my knees to my chest and bury my face in them.

"Clarke, are you gonna kill me if I walk in?"

"Go away!"

"I see", I hear someone slide down the door. "I see what parents mean by a bratty teen."

When I don't respond Lexa continues.

"Can we talk?"

"I don't wanna talk to you!"

"I didn't want to get you further into this mess, I thought that maybe... maybe if I decided then everything would be ok", Lexa sighs. "I know you said you can make decisions but I can't help but protect you. I love you too much."

"Move."

"Rude."

"Move!"

I hear feet against the wood. I open the door open a crack. "I know I just stabbed you with a knife but...", I look up at Lexa. She gets on her knees with her arms out. I quickly crawl into her arms. "I don't wanna bankrupt my parents."

"You won't have to."

"That's the deal, I marry you and they go bankrupt."

"We're not sticking to the deal."

I look up at her. "What?"

Lexa smiles, "you'll see."


	44. Chapter 44

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******* = pov (point of view) change

I stop outside the building.

Lexa looks over her shoulder and at me. "What's wrong?"

"I don't wanna talk to your dad."

"It'll only be for a bit, he wants to know the wedding plans."

"Can't he call?", I step back. "Like people do nowadays."

"He wants to see you in person", Lexa smiles at me. "You got nothing to fear."

Taking her hand I follow her into the building. We're brought to an office. Two guards stand outside the office, both of them with guns.

_Great, I feel reeeal safe._

I follow Lexa into the office. There's a long table that can sit 6 people on both sides. At the very end there's a cushioned seat that Lexa's dad sits in. A smile spreads across his face when he looks at me.

"Clarke", he nods as a greeting.

My grip on Lexa's hand tightens. She kisses the top of my head.

"Have a seat", Lexa's dad motions to the seats by him.

Lexa leads me over to a seat. I'm grateful that she sits between me and the old man.

"You look lovely as always", he smiles at me.

"Let's get to the point", Lexa brings the attention off me. "You know why we're here."

"Right, the wedding. I brought a planner who would like to talk to both of you."

(An hour later)

"He's freaky!"

Lexa nods.

"I better not become his daughter in law."

Lexa shrugs. She seems distracted, really distracted.

"Can we get frozen yogurt?"

"Not today, sorry."

I pull on her hand. "Please?"

"We have to get back to the penthouse."

Frowning I follow her back to the penthouse. Once we get to the penthouse I head to the upstairs portion of it. I can hear everyone talking about a plan. Lexa forbids me from hearing, it's like she's worried about me finding out.

"Are you sure no one will get shot?"

_Shot? Is there gonna be guns?_

"I'm positive, but our number one priority is Clarke. She is to get out of there as soon as possible."

There's no response.

_Get out of where? Are we going somewhere? I hope it has frozen yogurt._

My stomach growls telling me I'm hungry. As I head down the stairs, I cough letting them know of my presence. The conversation stops immediately. As I search the fridge I feel arms wrap around my waist.

"Why not let me cook?"

"It's fine", I take out some ice cream.

"Are you seriously gonna eat that?"

"Is there a problem?", I shrug Lexa off. I turn and open a drawer.

"Yes", Lexa closes the drawer.

I try to open it but she keeps it closed.

"Clarke."

I pull harder but it ends with her winning.

"Clarke, look at me."

Sighing I look at Lexa. She reaches out but I take a step back.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing", I set the ice cream down. Not wanting to talk anymore I leave the kitchen.

_I just wanted ice cream..._


	45. Chapter 45

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

April 10th

I know Raven's talking but her voice seems so far. Everything seems distant but so close. My head seems to spin as I feel like I'm getting more light as every second passes.

"Clarke!"

I look around.

_Why is everything so blurry?_

"Clarke!", Lexa puts her hand on my shoulder.

The feeling of light goes away. I feel like the Eart comes crashing down on me. In an instant everything is back to normal. It's like nothing happened.

"You ok?"

I look at Lexa. "Yeah", I take a step back. "Just lost in thought."

"Then let's go", Raven takes my hand and drags me to the elevator. Once the elevator closes, her smile disappears. "What's up with you?"

"What?"

"You've been so weird lately, distant... mostly from Lexa."

I shrug. "I just feel like everything is happening so fast."

"Well Lexa's dad is rushing everything."

"He just wants money", the elevator opens. I step out.

"Well let's buy you a dress so you feel like a disney princess."

"Is the wedding really tomorrow?"

"Yep", Raven takes my hand and runs out of the building.

We stop at a beautiful store. It shows off white dresses in the front windows. Walking in we're met with a woman with pink hair. She smiles at us.

"Lexa Wood?"

"No but this is her girlfriend... well fiancee."

The woman nods. "Let's see."

I don't know how many dresses I try on but I don't like any of them. I thik they're all... not for me.

Raven continues looking. "There has to be something."

"I don't like any."

"C'mon Clarke, you're being stubborn."

"I have a taste", I sit on a chair. "Let's just leave."

"What about this one?", Raven pulls out a dress.

It's fluffy and has ribbon in the front.

_It looks like something Lexa would put me in for one of her fanta-_

"Well?", Raven breaks my thoughts.

"I guess."

"Great", Raven checks the dress out. We start walking back to the penthouse. "I have to go", Raven hands me the dress.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a date with Anya."

"Already... didn't you just meet?"

Raven shrugs. "She's cute, anyways, you know where you're going."

I watch the Latino run away, more of skip away. Shaking my head I continue walking. When I get to the penthouse, it's really quiet.

"Lexa?", I walk around the penthouse. "Anyone?"

"There's me."

_Great, just what I needed._

********

"We can't keep lying to Clarke", Raven sits across from me.

"I want to keep her out of this."

"She knows how to shoot a gun."

I shake my head. "So do we have the guards on our side?"

"Yep, I talked to all of them. They're gonna set everything up, your dad has no idea", Anya smiles.

"Good, just what we need. What about Jasmine?"

"She's... she's oblivious."

"Where is she right now?"

"She should be with your dad, I have eyes on her", Anya pulls out her phone. "Just let me check in."

********

"What do you want Jasmine?"

"I want to check in on my future sister", she walks over to me. "Cute dress."

I put the dress on the counter. "What do you want?"

"My old man wanted me to check if you were ok. I know this is all happening so fast."

"I'm fine, now leave."

"You and Lexa are distant, she's even sleeping on the couch."

_She is?_

Jasmine laughs, "don't tell me you didn't notice."

"She's been there when I wake up."

"That's because she waits until you fall asleep, then she leaves, and before you wake she comes back."

I shake my head. "You're trying to get into my head."

"You're the one that's mad at her, why are you mad?"

I shrug. "She doesn't tell me anything."

"Oh, you mean the plan."

"Do you know the plan?"

"I heard bits and pieces, seems dangerous."

"You can tell me!", I jump at the excitement. "Do what Lexa won't."

"Is that a good idea?"

"Please", I take Jasmine's hands. "Please."

"Well... I think we're out of time", she smiles at me.

I let go of her hands. The elevator opens.

"Until next time", Jasmine is out the window when Lexa walks into the kitchen.

"Where is she?"

"Who?"

"Jasmine, I'm gonna punch that bitch."

I shake my head and grab the dress. "She hasn't done anything."

"She's done a lot more than you think."

I look at Lexa. "Like?"

"Too much to say", Lexa notices the dress. "Can I see?"

I shake my head.

"It's just a dress, let me see."

"Bad luck", I walk around Lexa.

"Ok... then are you ready for tomorrow?"

I shrug. "Am I suppose to be?"

"Don't want you getting cold feet", Lexa smiles at me.

I frown at Lexa. "Do you really think I'm going to do that?"

"Lighten up", Lexa ruffles up my hair.

"I'm retiring for the day", I slap her hand away. "See ya."

********

I watch Clarke head upstairs.

"Dang", Raven stands by me. "That's cold."

"Oh shut up", I look at her. "Go fuck Anya or something."

"I'm right here", Anya glares at me.

"I see the way you both look at each other."

"You're jealous because you can't fuck your lover."

Rolling my eyes I head to the living room. "I'm not always craving sex."

"Aren't you though?", Anya smiles at me.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if everything seems rushed, I'm trying to wrap up the story, I leave tomorrow. So this chapter will have a lot of skipping. Sorry. I mean I could wait until after the whole visit thing but I would have this nagging feeling to finish the story over a 2 week visit. So... yeah.

_This_ = someone's thoughts

******** = pov (point of view) change

"You two", I wave Anya and Raven over here. "The big day is tomorrow, we should go over the plan."

Anya nods and sits down. "I got everyone on our side, all we have to do is wait for the right moment."

"Which is?", Raven leans back on the couch.

"Right before she signs the paper to hand the company over to me", I glance upstairs.

"Won't her parents still be in debt?"

"Only for a little while, my birthday is in a few months then I no matter what get the company, I will take Clarke's parents out of debt."

"But won't your dad come after you?", Anya looks up from her phone.

"I have a plan, he only has connections in the USA... so if I leave then he can't touch us. Get out of his reach."

"How long would you be... out of his reach?", Raven looks at me.

"I don't know, just until everything dies down. I want to make sure everything is safe before I bring Clarke back."

"Great, now you need to figure everything out with Clarke", Anya stands up.

"She's just overwhelmed", I lay down on the couch. "Once this is all over then she'll be fine."

Anya glances at Raven. "Sure... that's how it works."

I wave goodnight to the two of them. The night doesn't seem to end and sleep won't come to me no matter what. Giving up on it I turn on the tv.

********

_It's almost 11 at night. Where's Lexa?_

Getting out of bed, I head downstairs. The tv light fills up the living room. I find Lexa in the living room. She carelessly scrolls through NETFLIX. Wrapping the blanket tighter around me, I walk over to her.

"Clarke?", she looks up at me. "What's wrong?"

"I couldn't sleep", I scan the couch. I climb over her so I'm behind her. "What are you doing?"

"I was gonna look for a movie or something."

I lay down, my head on her shoulder. "I haven't watch Venom."

"Is that what you want to watch?"

I nod. Lexa clicks on the movie. Halfway through I decide to get the guilty feeling out. "I'm sorry."

"What for?", Lexa pauses the movie.

"Being cold."

Lexa rolls over. "It's all happening so fast, one minute you're in college, the next in New York, then before you know it you're 'engagded' to someone."

"You said you have a plan... how's that going?"

"Well, I have my dad's people against him. They're gonna help us escape the wedding. They'll also make it impossible for anyone to find us."

"What about my parents?"

"They'll have to bear with it, just for a few months. Once I have the company I'll take them out of debt."

"What do you mean by escape the wedding?"

"Let's just say it's gonna get dangerous", Lexa smiles. "Very dangerous, so I want you to stick by me."

Nodding I cuddle into her. "I think Jasmine knows about your plan."

Lexa doesn't respond. When I look up at her, she's lost in thought.

(Next Day)

"Ready?", Raven checks the dress out.

"Is it good?", I turn in the mirror.

"Yep, you look great", Raven heads to the door. "All you have to do is say "I do" let Lexa handle the rest."

I nod and follow Raven out. The whole thing seems weird. I take notice of how impatient certain people are. Raven keeps glancing at Jasmine who is just smiling. I do notice the silence. The very, very uncomfortable silence. Everyone's eyes are on me. I look at Lexa.

_Shit, I forgot._

"Oh, I do."

It's a quick kiss between Lexa and I. Lexa's dad steps forward with paper and pen. "You know what do", he smiles at me.

I stare down at the pen.

_Let Lexa handle everything._

Taking a deep breath I take the pen.

"Duck", Lexa whispers in my ear.

"What?"

"Get down!"

I hear a gun go off. Dropping the pen I crouch. I cover my head as the guns start going off.

_Is this what they mean by letting Lexa handle everything?_

Lexa grabs my hand pulling me to my feet. "Run! C'mon!"

"I can't run in heels!", I try to stay on my feet.

"Kick them off!"

I kick my shoes off. Lexa leads me outside and to a car. I'm pushed in before I can say anything. When I look out the window we're driving away from the church.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see", Lexa flashes a smile at me.

 _I don't know if I wanna see._ _.._

Lexa pulls up to a plane.

"You have a plane!"

"Yep", Lexa takes me out of the car. She carries me into the plane. "Honeymoon?"

"I expected better but ok."

(A week later)

The morning rays of the sun shine on my face. Groaning I roll over.

"Don't fight the sun", Lexa's voice rings out from somewhere.

Opening my eyes I see her shadow in the bathroom. I get out of bed and join her in the bathroom. "Going somewhere?"

"Nope, you?"

"Course not", I kiss her cheek.

"Do you wanna buy this place?"

"The apartment or apartment room?"

"Either", she smiles at me.

"Just the apartment room", I leave the bathroom and head out into the balcony. The sunrise shines behind the Eiffel Tower.

_It look like a painting._

Arms wrap around my waist. "What're you thinking about?"

"It's weird", I lean back. "We left the U.S on such a bad note but I'm so happy."

Lexa kisses my neck. "I know what you mean."

There's a few seconds of silence. I can tell something is bugging her.

"What is it?"

"Are you not mad about having to drop out of college? Leave your life behind? Start new?"

"As long as I'm with you, I'm happy", I smile up at her.

"I know something that will make you more happy", Lexa's eyes darken.

"Really? What is it?"

Smiling Lexa leads back into the room. She turns me around so my back is to the door. Using her foot, she closes the door. Her lips meet mine with a hungry desire. Reaching behind her I close the curtains.


End file.
